Re-orienting in times of change, a helpful tool

Hello Yuma Proving Ground family. As I write, the Center for Disease Control has listed Yuma County as a medium COVID level, removing the mask mandate. Hopefully this is something that you’ve been looking forward to as much as I have. I’ve missed seeing everyone’s faces as masks have been required essentially since I arrived.

But as things start to adapt to the change in health condition status, that might impact the way you and I have been doing things. Changes can be dis-orienting. I heard someone say that “The only constant in the Army, (and life,) is change.”

I wanted to share a helpful tool that I learned early in my time as a chaplain. Some people are familiar with Venn diagrams. For those who aren’t let me try and describe a visual. If you have a sheet of printer paper and in the middle part, draw two circles about the size of a tennis ball. The two circles need to overlap a little bit, no more than 20% or so. In one circle write the word “Control” and in the other write “Matter.” As I talk through the categories, feel free to write on your paper various things that apply to your life.

Now you have the tool to divide whatever is going on in life into one of four categories. Most of the paper, like things in life reflect things that you can’t control and that don’t matter in your day-to-day life. For example, some country somewhere is having elections, or how many people are on vacation this week are both examples that I can’t control, nor can I think of a way that it impacts me.

The next category is the circle that has “Control.” It is areas that I can control but aren’t particularly significant. My score on a game I enjoy or whether I folded my laundry are examples. I can control it, but this category doesn’t impact me or anyone else in a major way.

The third category is for items that go in the “Matters” circle.

As a government employee, the federal budget and tax rates or my supervisor’s hiring actions are important, but not anything that I can control. This is where many people get stuck, feeling frustrated with things that matter that are beyond their control personally, professionally, or both.

However, the fourth category, that space where the “Control” and “Matters” circles overlap is the most important portion of the diagram. What are the things that I can control that really matter?

I can control my attitude at work and at home, knowing that impacts others. I can do the routine things consistently like living by my values, keeping my spending within my budget, or taking vacation regularly to reset my resilience.

And yes, there are some things that might be in the in-between areas that straddle more than one category.

When changes come that disorient me, or someone I’m advising, I ask them to walk through this exercise and to focus on the area where the two circles overlap. I hope that this is a tool that you will work with a few times to become familiar with it so you can use it effectively when you need it. Focus on the things that matter that you can control.