‘Fire, aim, ready’ to honor Florida’s Gun Owner of the Year

Frank Cerabino

It is that time again when we here at the Citizens Against Virtually Everything (CAVE) make our selection for the highly coveted 2016 Florida Gun Owner of the Year Award.

As always, the competition has been stiff. Sometimes lit- erally. And we look forward to next year, when the state’s ongoing legislative efforts may finally allow us to have a “University Dorm Accidental Discharge” category.

Those of you who have been following this CAVE award know that Palm Beach County has figured prominently among past honorees, which have included the 2013 winner, James McDermott of Jupiter, who shot himself while bowling due to the handgun in his pocket, and the 2014 winner, Barbara Handler, also of Jupiter.

Handler was honored after losing her loaded Beretta during a town meeting when it fell out of her purse.

Too embarrassed to admit she lost her handgun, she said nothing. The loaded gun was discovered five months later by somebody who dropped a pencil, and when retrieving it, spotted the Beretta wedged between the seat cushions.

Last year’s winner was Alexander Evans, 25, of East Naples, who won from the always popular road-rage division. Evans was so irked that a woman in a minivan had honked at him as he weaved his Mercedes in and out of traffic, that he decided to brandish his rifle at the woman while driving.

This was a difficult maneuver, apparently, because it caused him to both crash his car into a guardrail and shoot himself in the leg with his own weapon.

So who will be replacing Evans this year to wear the crown? Here are your finalists and winner:

A dishonorable mention goes to Ron Sorn, 34, a felon, who thought it would be a good idea to take a selfie of himself while holding his illegally owned firearm. While snapping the photo in a bathroom, he accidentally fired the weapon. The bullet blasted into the nearby woman’s restroom.

Sorn got extra points for doing this in Club Lust, a St. Petersburg strip club.

The strip-club division of the competition was busy this year, as it also accounted for our third-place finisher, Clinton Putnam, 37, of Winter