Awkward football bowl names now a tradition

Things you’ve never heard: “My dream is to one day be the starting quarterback in the TaxSlayer Bowl.”

“Great news: I got 50-yard line tickets for the uDrove Humanitarian Bowl.”

“If this team jells, I could see us going to the Bridgepoint Educ ation Holiday Bowl.”

There i s nothing quite like a college football bowl game, but when we think of the classics, we think Rose, Orange, Sugar — not the Zaxby’s Heart of Dallas Bowl.

Still, silly names for bowls and clumsy pairings with their sponsors are as much a part of the college football season as marching bands, cheerleaders and debates over the College Football Playoff.

The era of the bowl with the clumsy sponsor name may be slowly winding down, as games have struggled to find companies to pay up in recent years, and minor bowls have been overshadowed by the playoff.

But goofy names for bowls will probably always be with us. Here are the 10 worst.

10. Oil Bowl

T h e r e i s a l o n g t r a d i - tion of games named after commodities. Usually it is sweet-smelling ones, such as roses, peaches and oranges, not generally black, viscous commodities.

But in the 1940s, Houston celebrated its local industry with this game.

9. magicJack St. Petersburg Bowl

The St. Petersburg Bowl has turned to high tech for several of its sponsors. In 2008, its name included magicJack , a device that turned your computer into a phone. In 2014, it tried an invented currency and was the Bitcoin St. Petersburg Bowl.

The bowl, which this year will feature Miami of Ohio and Mississippi State today, is currently without a title sponsor.

8. Beef O’Brady’s Bowl

Not to pick on St. Petersburg, but from 2010-13 the bowl dropped all reference to the city and instead celebrated a sports bar chain that sounds like the high school bully in a 1980s teen movie.

7. IBM OS/2 Fiesta Bowl

This one, which was used from 1993-95, ranks a little worse than the St. Petersburg games because the Fiesta Bowl is a major event with a history of national championship implications. Might a college football game actually make you upgrade your operating system? Last year, this game was the BattleFrog Fiesta Bowl, named after a television show in which teams of college students complete an obstacle course.

6. Buffalo Wild Wings Citrus Bowl

When you think of a meal at Buffalo Wild Wings, do you really think fruit? Same goes for the Chick-fil-A Peach Bowl, come to think of it.

5. Popeyes Bahamas Bowl

When you think of a trip t o t h e Ba h a mas, d o you really think about dining at Popeyes?

4. Bacardi Bowl

Back when drinking and driving without a seat belt barely raised an eyebrow, it was a natural to name a college football game after an intoxicating beverage. College games were played in Cuba for most of the first half of the 20th century, with some of them going under this name.

The NCAA confirmed that “alcohol is not permitted to sponsor a bowl game or an NCAA championship.” The Postseason Bowl Handbook also bars sponsorship from pool halls, dog tracks and films rated NC-17. Among the sponsors that are expressly permitted are sexual enhancement drugs and dentists.

3. Rose Bowl presented by PlayStation 2

Yes, it c ame to thi s. In 2003, a storied American tradition was brought to you by a video game system.

2. San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl

This is a particularly infelicitous marriage of sponsor name and commodity that has been in use since 2005. It just sounds ugly.

This year’s game, between Brigham Young and Wyoming, took place last Wednesday.

Let’s take a break from the negativity to celebrate one truly great bowl name, now sadly lost to the mists of time.

From 1949-55, Phoenix hosted top college teams, and later All-Star teams, at Montgomery Stadium. Please, let’s bring back ... the Salad Bowl.

And now, to the worst of them all.

1. Poulan Weed Eater Independence Bowl

The Independence Bowl was called the Duck Commander Independence Bowl in 2014, and somehow that was not its worst name. From 1991-97, a game founded to celebrate one of the most important American ideals shared its name with a lawn care product.

By the way, the Independ e nc e B owl i s pl aye d i n Shreveport, La. On artificial turf.