Grieving pet loss, and how we care for animals

Dr. Michael Fox

Dear Dr. Fox: The other day, my husband was reading your column and when he was finished he threw the paper down and started to cry. He looked at me and said, “Well, it’s pertinent.” I picked it up and read it, and then I began to cry. The subject you wrote about was happening to us right then.

Our beloved 16-yearold cat, Gracie, was terminal, and it was only a matter of time until she would be gone. Your column dealt with a man who had two cats and lost one. The surviving cat suffered with grief for a long time, so when the situation arose again, this time he took the surviving cat with him when the other cat was euthanized.

After reading this advice in your column we decided to take our Koko with us when Gracie was euthanized. Koko had been through this several years ago when his brother, Kiki, died. Koko was depressed after, and we made sure that we touched, petted and played with him extra to help him get over the loss — and us, too.

Koko did not like being there, but after we got home, he went into a basket that was always Gracie’s.

As soon as Gracie took it over, Koko never went into it until she was gone. It’s been only four days now, but he is taking over some other things that were Gracie’s alone.

We are heartsick that we lost our very special kitty, even though she had been lucky as she had an ectopic ureter that was diagnosed when she was 2. She dealt with it very well, so did we, so to have 16 years with her was amazing. — D.H. and J.H., Estero

Dear D.H. and J.H.: You have my sympathy; I understand how devastating the loss of an animal companion can be. I am very glad that one of the issues in my newspaper column coincided with your situation and you found it helpful.

Koko’s behavior is interesting in that he clearly accommodated or deferred to Gracie when she was alive. Being conscious that she is now gone, he is essentially filling in some of the spaces that she formerly occupied, both physically and psychologically.

Behavioral and neurological sciences have helped advance our understanding and appreciation of animals’ consciousness and emotions.

Such evidence that warm-blooded animals are more like us than they are different deflates the erroneous belief in human superiority. It forces us out of anthropocentrism to face the realities of animal use and abuse around the world.

For instance, consider the suffering of billions of animals raised for human consumption and used for experiments to find cures for human disease.