How to be the person people want to talk to at networking events
How to Be Interesting, “but getting to know someone is a natural thing. If you let other people open up and talk about themselves, you become memorable.” Internet meme, news topic or viral video. Before walk- ing into an event, check out You know that networking the latest news feeds for an is good for your career, but easy, ‘Did you hear…’” the mere prospect of minDr. Susan Miller, a speech gling in a room of strangers pathologist and vocal coach makes you go full ostrich— in Washington, D.C., agrees Tell a good story looking for an opportunity to that conscious preparation The asking-questions bury your head in the sand. is important. “Think about strategy can go bad on you
There’s good news: what you might say,” she if overused. You might come Show ’em what you’re Nobody’s actually expectsays. “Have an intention off as an interrogator. Also, made of ing you to be the most inter- every time you enter a con- you do need the person to Don’t assume that you esting man or woman in the versation.” walk away with a memory of have to pretend to be someroom. You just need to be you, so you’ll need to interone else in order to be intera livelier, more confident, Ask questions to ject with more than just an esting. “Let yourself be yourmore interesting version of make a connection “Mmhmmm” to achieve that. self,” Hagy says. Chances yourself. Try these expert “Sometimes we’re so worWhen it’s your turn to are that other people will tips to help you lose the anx- ried about what we’re going share something about your- be drawn to your patterns, iety and make new, authento say and how we’re going self, don’t rattle off a few skills and interests because tic connections. You may be to come across that we don’t facts as if you were reading they’re unique to you. surprised at how easy it is to think at all about the other from your resume. Tell a brief Hagy gives an example stand out from the crowd. person,” notes Miller. The story about a funny or curious from her own experience as key to making a real connec- thing that happened to you. a freelance writer and artist: tion? “It all comes down to “Our brains light up when At first she didn’t think anyshowing an interest in peo- we hear a personal story,” says one would find the details ple,” she says. Van Edwards. “In my phone of her job and routines very
Asking questions can I jot down things that happen interesting, but she has realhelp inform your online job to me and then use them as ized that people are curious search. When you meet new conversational fodder.” about what she does and people, ask them about their her work-from-home patcurrent and past employterns. That has made her ers and see how they like(d) more confident at networkworking there. If the feeding events. “It’s not intimiback is positive, make a men- dating,” she says. “It’s just tal note to look for open posi- having conversations.” tions at these companies when you go online to look for jobs. (Your new connection might be able to help you get your foot in the door.)
Although networking is technically about self-promotion, skip the temptation to launch right into your ele- vator pitch. “Selling your- self is weird and awkward,” says Jessica Hagy, author of Come with a prefab icebreaker
Vanessa Van Edwards, a behavioral investigator at the coaching firm Science of People in Portland, Oregon, recommends having three to five good conver- sation starters ready to go. “It’s hard to come up with stuff to talk about on the fly,” she says. Her favorite conversation starters include basic questions like, “What was the highlight of your day today?” and more probing questions like, “When you were growing up, what was your dream job? Is any part of that still true?”
She also suggests arming yourself with a little pop culture knowledge: “Don’t be afraid to bring up the latest Don’t put your body on lockdown
Your body language plays a key role in creating com- fortable space for others and projecting confidence. Van Edwards says body language is especially important in the first few moments you meet someone. “The best thing you can do is to have an open torso,” she says. “Don’t block yourself off with arms crossed or a drink clutched to your chest. Point your toes, torso and head toward the person you are speaking with to show them you are completely in tune with them.”
Van Edwards suggests making it a point to nod and lean in as you ask questions and share your own stories. The more receptive you seem to others, the more likely they’ll be to reciprocate.
Staff Scientist