Dads, stop it with the we-don’t-babysit thing

movement: Dads should not be called babysitters. I used to get so annoyed with people People wear T-shirts declar- who would make the passing ing it. Blogs are written about comment when I’m out with it.I myse lfmadeashort video my boys without their mom. and several Facebook posts It felt like my role as their parsupporting it. entwasbeingund ermined.

I’m talking about the “Dads But then I asked myself some Don’t Babysit” movement. simple questions: Why are peo-

The main idea of the move- ple like this? Why do they think ment is simple - we shouldn’t it’s okay to think it or say it, say that a dad is babysitting his even as a joke? Who is at fault? own children, because looking The first two questions actu- after your own kids is called ally had the same answer - parenting. there is still novelty in seeing

There doesn’t really seem a dad spending quality alone like much to argue against time with his ch ildren (and that, so I guess we can all stop that novelty quadruples if he reading from here? uses a baby carrier). People,

But wait just a minute. This especially older people, just movement is not as clear-cut are not used to seeing it. as it may seem. In fact, I have a You might be an incredi- really, really big problem with bly involved dad who engages it: I think it’s stupid. with his kids every day, but it’s

But first, here are some easy to forget that the older points that will hopefully slow grandma staring at you in the youdownbeforeyou b itemy grocery store doesn’t see that. head off with rebuttals: She doesn’t see the hard work

I think dads are as important you put in. So she still looks as moms in their kids’ lives. at you, the dad, through a ste-

I’m a dad who takes his role reotypical lens reinforced over very seriously. many years.

I don’t think I’m babysitting Which brings us to the final when I’m alone with my boys. question: Who is to blame

So, I actually agree with the for this? The answer to that fundamental idea behind the is obvious: Dads are to blame.

Yep, the very group of people who are complaining about being called babysitters is the same group that created the situation in the first place.

I think we forget that the idea that a father needs to be Question: I’m writing actively engaged in his kids’ to you regarding my huslives is a fairly new one. The band’s cancer. He has thypeople with the social power mic carcinoma, diagnosed (i.e., men) made sure that the January 2014. It was stage responsibility of raising chil- 4. The disease was kept stadren fell squarely on the moth- ble with a targeted-therers’ shoulders for generations. apy drug called Sutent for

I guess what I’m trying to say 15 months, based on cancer is this: We shouldn’t complain genomic sequencing. When about not being respected as that stopped working, we parents when we gladly gave moved on to Stivarga. Last that right away for generations. month, PET results revealed

Also, doesn’t it feel really greatly increased activity silly to complain about some- and tumor size. He began thing so very insignificant? Opdivo infusion therapy

So someone made a pass- last Thursday. While there, ing comment about you being I heard about something a babysitter. If that is the big- called “car T.” Can you gest thing that you have going explain what this is? — D.C. against you, then you seriously Answer: I am very sorry need to take a look around. You to hear about your husdon’t even have to look very band. far — just really look at what The thymus is an organ in the mother of your child has the neck. It is much larger to go through. in children than in adults,

(I’ve tried very, very, very and it has a role in maturhard not to use the patriar- ing the immune system chy here, but that has now (the thymus is the “T” in “T become impossible.) cells,” which are the main