Stressed moms vulnerable to bullies
There have always been bullies and there always will be. And it’s not just a problem our children have to face. Sure, bullies get older, but they may never change their behavior and as adults remain just as prone to exploiting weakness when they see it.
Recently, a United Airlines flight attendant compelled a mother, traveling alone with two children, to put her dog into the overhead storage space. Though the woman apparently initially objected to this request, it seems she was finally worn down by the flight attendant and complied. For those who blame the woman, imagine yourself with two squirmy children, perhaps crying and begging for attention, one of whom is on your lap, while a flight attendant demands you place your pet in a confined, unventilated space. Your nerves are frazzled and after being berated, you, hearing only the demands of your children, reason that maybe the space will be OK — after all, the flight attendant must have done this many times before. It must be protocol.
This is not the type of logic one would have unencumbered by a dozen other stressors occurring simultaneously — a hungry infant, another child, the need for a diaper change, perhaps. The flight attendant saw this and that’s likely why she made this awful demand of this particular passenger at this particular time. She was a bully who recognized weakness and preyed upon it.
I have met these bullies traveling. Though I have never flown with a dog, I have flown with two small children by myself. When traveling alone or with my children and my husband, I have never felt uncomfortable or bullied. However, when it has been just me and the kids, I have felt the wrath of flight attendants, passengers and Transportation Security Administration (TSA) agents. I have been yelled at to “move it” while shepherding children as quickly as possible through security and to “quiet the children down” when they have barely made a peep, a result of being strategically glued to electronic media. No passenger ever challenged one of these bullies on my behalf, though there was a flight attendant who, after a passenger complained about my children to her several times and after
The flight attendant saw this and that’s likely why she made this awful demand of this particular passenger at this particular time. She was a bully who recognized weakness and preyed upon it.
she had admonished me twice, finally realized that my children were actually being relatively quiet. She apologized to me and audibly complimented my children.
The woman and her dog, however, were not lucky enough to find anyone who would speak out on her behalf. The trapped dog died and the family was reported to be distraught upon making this grisly discovery at the end of the flight. So, while United Airlines should pay for their flight attendant’s horrible actions, it will not change the root cause of the problem — mothers being bullied while traveling.
We all have to do better and stick up for the frazzled, overburdened mother who is being targeted by someone who should have learned not to be a bully years before, but unfortunately, missed that lesson.
DAWN HARRIS SHERLING,