Reliable tech support by phone is hard to find

There’s a fatal flaw with your computer.

The same flaw can be found in the new HDTVs at the store, the fanciest cellphones and danged near anything else that plugs in or has batteries.

The flaw is that, with rare and wonderful exceptions, decent technical support doesn’t exist anymore. No matter how good the product, you’re going to need help someday. My guess is you’re not going to get it.

The best tech support I’ve seen lately is barely acceptable. The very worst is like running on a treadmill. It’s just exercise.

That wasn’t always the case. It’s easy to see what happened. Profit margins narrowed, and companies eliminated or crippled domestic call centers. The mission of tech support went to overseas call centers, or to email and online support.

If you’ve tried to get help during the last year or so, you know what I’m talking about. You call the 800 number, listen to canned music for a while and then explain your problem. The tech support person is following a carefully prepared script that forces him or her to assume you’re a complete idiot. (I’ll admit that can be a lucky guess at times.) So you’ll spend the first five minutes making sure your gadget is plugged in and turned on.

I just described the scenario for those lucky enough to find what passes for good customer service these days. You never hear from the bad guys at all, or you’ll receive an email that repeats the problem and asks you to wait 24 hours. You’ll wait for an eternity.

This sad state of affairs has created a boom in businesses that come to your home to perform computer repairs. I’ve spent time with several of these companies — the service is almost always good and the level of competence is high. So is the bill. You can pay $300 to get a $1,200 computer fixed. If you used that same ratio for car repairs, you’d expect to see routine repair bills of $7,500 for a $30,000 automobile.

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve recommended these firms. My wife uses them for her business. The way things are now, they’re a good choice.

But for those of you who — like me — would like to keep the maintenance costs to a minimum, there are ways to make the best of a bad situation.

Here’s a checklist for when you need to contact what Clark Howard, the consumer advocate, correctly calls customer nonservice:

■ Before you call: Gather all the information you need and put it in writing so you can quickly answer the expected questions. Include the model of your computer or other gadget, the serial number, and — with computers — the amount of RAM memory and the kind of operating system you are using.

In the case of a computer — if it’s working at all — you can get much of the information you need by clicking on the Start button and selecting Run. Then type MSINFO32. Or you can try this great little program that makes a list of almost everything in your computer: https://www.belarc. com/ products_ bel arc_ advisor.

Obviously, you also need a quick and precise description of the problem, including any error messages you’re seeing.

■ When you call: Make sure you are sitting at the ailing computer or have the gadget that needs help with you. If you don’t do that, you may be told to call back when you’re at the computer — putting you at the rear of a long queue of callers.

■ How to act: Be polite and obliging. Like I said, you may be asked to check some things that seem obvious. The tech support person has to gear his spiel to the lowest common denominator. Complaining and offering rude comments may make you feel better for a moment, but it’s a surefire way to get even worse service. And keep it clean. Most tech support people are allowed to hang up on profane callers. ■ When things don’t work out: If you’ve patiently tried everything tech support suggested and still have a problem, politely ask to speak to a supervisor. Tech support centers often organize support groups in what they call tiers. Routine calls get tech support people with the least amount of training. Tier one experts are called in when lower-level support can’t help.

■ When things do work out: Write a note to the company praising the tech support person by name. It’s in your interest to make sure courtesy and expertise are rewarded.

I’ve saved my most important tip for last. Don’t give up, even when the experience has been frustrating and nonproductive.