Stars bring awareness to all moms’ postpartum challenges
The U.S. Open Tennis Championships start in two weeks and — just like last year — nobody is picking former world No. 1 Serena Williams to be a finalist.
Of course, there was good reason for that last year: She gave birth to her first child on Sept. 1 — during the tournament.
Since December, Williams, 36, has attempted in fits and starts to regain the form that made her arguably the greatest player in the history of women’s tennis.
But last week — just days after the most lopsided loss of her career — she shared on Instagram the frustrations she’s felt in trying to have it all.
The post read in part: “Last week was not easy for me.
Not only was I accepting some tough personal stuff, but I just
was in a funk. Mostly, I felt like I was not a good mom. I read several articles that said postpartum emotions can last up to 3 years if not dealt with … My mom, my sisters, my friends let me know that my feelings are totally normal … Most of you moms deal with the same thing. Whether stay-at-home or working, finding that balance with kids is a true art. You are the true heroes. I’m here to say: if you are having a rough day or week — it’s ok — I am, too!!! There’s always tomm!”
A day later in a highly publicized Vogue magazine cover story, Beyoncé revealed the many health and emotional struggles she’s endured during and after her two pregnancies.
“After the birth of my first child, I believed in the things society said about how my body should look. I put pressure on myself to lose all the baby weight in three months, and scheduled a small tour to assure I would do it. Looking back, that was crazy,” she wrote.
Of course, in today’s social media environment, celebrity moms clapping back against baby weight “shamers” is nothing new.
But both Williams and Beyoncé shared their travails in part to bring awareness to the fact that millions of new mothers are probably having similar experiences — and likely suffering in silence.
In trying to return so quickly to their former lives, the two superstars neglected to understand the importance of what Judith Nowlin, founder of iBirth and chief growth officer with Babyscripts, dubbed “the fourth trimester.”
These are the first three months after childbirth, which, she says, are
“full of critical moments for the mom and baby, yet obstetric care in the United States virtually stops after birth. Women who have just experienced childbirth are sent home to adjust to their new life, often with information about breastfeeding and other infant care but without instructions on how to monitor their own health.”
Nowlin noted that this gap in postnatal care is a contributing factor to the U.S. having the developed world’s highest maternal mortality rate.
Cleveland Clinic Florida gynecologist Dr. Claudia Mason said that “the most common cause of maternal mortality during childbirth used to be hemorrhage — but now it’s stroke.”
Mason explained that “older, often overweight or obese expectant moms are at greater risk” for this kind of worst-case scenario. She also noted that “today’s fragmented health care system in which not all expectant moms have access to the same level of prenatal care” has contributed to the rise in U.S. maternal mortality.
As for dealing with postnatal challenges, Mason said, “I tell all new moms that it’s the toughest, most thankless job they’ll ever love.”
However, unlike generations past, many of today’s new moms have a smaller support system to help them raise the baby. Combine that with the financial pressure to return to work as soon as possible and it’s no wonder that, according to Mason, “15 percent of new moms suffer postpartum depression and 80 percent suffer what I call ‘the baby blues.’”
She stressed that new moms “need to practice self-care — otherwise they’re no good to their families.”
That means:
■ “Sleep when the baby sleeps.”
■ “Don’t be a perfectionist about housecleaning and other chores.”
■ “Recognize that constant worrying is what you’ll do for the rest of your baby’s life. It’s natural.”
■ “Stop beating yourself up emotionally.”
■ “Apply the proverbial oxygen mask to yourself first — then apply it to your baby.”
Most new moms — be they athletes, entertainers or Palm Beach Post reporters — fear they’re not doing right by their babies.
What they should constantly remind themselves is that simply having that fear is what assures that, in reality, they’re being the best moms possible.