Your choice
a week. It could be a conversation you overhear in a coffee shop or something on social media or on your favorite show on Netflix. If there is an absence of older people, write that down, too.
At the end of the week, tally up the number of positive and negative portrayals and the number of times that old people are absent from conversations.
With the negative descriptions, take a moment and think, “Could there be a different way of portraying that person?”
Q
A: What comes next? : Becoming aware of how ageism and age beliefs are operating in society. Shift the blame to where it is due.
In the book, I suggest thinking about something that’s happened to an older person that’s blamed on aging — and then taking a step back and asking whether something else could be going on.
For example, when an older adult is forgetful, it’s often blamed on aging. But there are many reasons people might not remember something. They might have been stressed when they heard the information. Or they might have been distracted. Not remembering something can happen at any age.
Unfortunately, there’s a tendency to blame older people rather than looking at other potential causes for their behaviors or circumstances.
Q
: You encourage people to challenge negative age beliefs in public.
A
: Yes. In the book, I present 14 negative age beliefs and the science that dispels them. And I recommend becoming knowledgeable about that research.
For example, a common
belief is that older people don’t contribute to society. But we know from research that older adults are most likely to recycle and make philanthropic gifts. Altruistic motivations become stronger with age. Older adults often work or volunteer in positions that make meaningful contributions. And they tend to engage in what’s called legacy thinking, wanting to create a better world for future generations.
In my own case, if I hear something concerning, I often need to take time to think about a good response. And that’s fine.
You can go back to somebody and say: “I was thinking about what you said the other day. And I don’t know if you know this, but research shows that’s not actually the case.”
Q
: Another thing you talk about is creating a portfolio of positive role models. What do you mean by that?
A
: Focus on positive images of aging. These can be people you know, a character in a book, someone you’ve learned about in a documentary, a historical figure — they can come from many different
sources.
I recommend starting out with, say, five positive images. With each one, think about qualities you admire and you might want to strengthen in yourself. One person might have a great sense of humor. Another might have a great perspective on how to solve conflicts and bring people together. Another might have a great work ethic or a great approach to social justice. There can be different strengths in different people that can inspire us.
Q
: You also recommend cultivating intergenerational contacts.
A
: We know from research that meaningful intergenerational contact can be a way to improve age beliefs. A starting point is to think about your five closest friends and what age they are. In my case, I realized that most of my friends were within a couple of years of my age. If that’s the case with you, think about ways to get to know people of other ages through a dance class, a book club, or a political group. Seeing older people in action often allows us to dispel negative age beliefs.