Family cemetery
Ree Drummond is the host of Food Network’s Pioneer Woman. Several months following the death of her mother-in-law, Nan, she did a program whose theme was preparing a lunch for the family members who were working at the family cemetery which is located just down the hill from Ree’s home. The lunch featured items which were associated with her mother-in-law: build-your-own BLT, watermelon salad with feta, homemade mayo and quick pickles, skillet corn casserole and Nan’s classic blackberry cobbler. As they were eating the conversation turn to Nan and The impact she had on each of their lives.
Across Indiana today you can still find family cemeteries. A few are still active and in good repair. Most have fallen into disuse and are badly in need of attention. They are a reminder of the early days of the state when families lived in close proximity and were responsible for the burial of their dead. I can still remember my grandmother being buried in a family cemetery near a church in West Virginia. We had taken her home to lie with her loved ones.
In 1935 as a tribute to his mother A.P. Carter rewrote the hymn “Will the Circle Be Unbroken” as “Can the Circle be Unbroken.” Over the years the song became synonymous with the Carter family. Both versions could well have been sung when Ree Drummond served lunch to her relatives who were doing work on the family cemetery. Much of their conversation focused on her mother-in-law. As verse four of the original hymn says they were picturing happy gatherings and thinking of tearful partings when Nan left them here below. The family cemetery was a reminder that the circle of their family, even in the face of death, remained unbroken.
On the one hand family cemeteries are reminders of the family circle of which one is apart. On the other hand they can motivate us to move forward into the future. In Hebrews we read “Therefore, since, we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and the sin that clings so closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us.” (Heb.12:1) As Ree and her family remembered Nan and the part she played in each of their lives they were energized to continue the values, concerns and traditions she valued.
Active family cemeteries are almost a thing of the past. Families seldom live in close proximity of each other. More likely they are found to be scattered across this country and around the world. The descendants of my grandmother who was buried in a family cemetery in West Virginia now stretch from Virginia to California, from Indiana to Florida.
The decline of family cemeteries also marks a decline in the opportunities for family circles to come together to share family traditions and stories. When I was growing up “the cousins” would get together at least twice a year. My cousin Frank spent a lot of time in West Virginia with our relatives who continued to live there. When we would gather he would share some of their backgrounds and stories. His sharing helped me to feel connected with our family circle that lived around the family cemetery where my grandmother was buried.
Family cemeteries were a reminder to individuals that they were a part of something bigger than just themselves. They belonged to a larger circle that reached into the past and which they would extend into the future. In today’s world how might we help the next generation sense that they belong to something bigger than themselves and inspire them to continue the traditions and stories of their own family circle?