OPINION Talking Cars

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Have any of you readers used or read an owners manual that pertains to your vehicle? You ever wonder how something that should be so easy to read, becomes a complex nightmare? If there were ever a book written by mentally challenged people, just about any owners manual will try your patients to the hilt.

Here’s a good example. Back when my wife and I bought our 2013 Impala, I changed the oil and filter myself. I do this to all my cars. I needed to know the capacity of oil the engine required. So, I got out the owners manual and started looking. Here’s how it went.

First, I took the easy route and looked up oil. I found oil on page E3. Page E3 said “For capacities go to page G80”. Okay I find G80 and it says oil capacities are on G81. What the? So I read all of G80 and the capacities for different engines are started at the bottom of page G80 which continued into page G81. I had my fingers on my forehead in total disgust. You all can probably understand this?

I found out what that 3.6 engine needed. Chevy did a dirty trick on that engine. It takes 4.7 quarts. You get that “.7” deal there? That means I have to buy 5 quarts instead of 4 but only put in so much of the last quart. GM couldn’t make the engine simple and make it run on 5 quarts. It’s bad to over fill any engine on oil capacity.

So on the 5th quart of what was left over, I saved that for my rider mower. Next came looking up the oil filter. I went to Index once again and looked up filters. For oil filters see page B11. I go to B11 and it says to use only a genuine GM oil filter. Well, DUH, why would GM tell me to use a Ford oil filter? I used my usual Purolator filter. But I had to cross reference the GM filter to the Purolator. In order to do this, the manual did me no good. I had to use the computer to find out what number the Purolator was.

Are you all with me so far? I went to Advance Auto and they got the Purolator filter. I did not buy a genuine GM oil filter either. I bought my favorite brand of synthetic oil. Strange how that oil and filter worked just as good or better than genuine GM oil? The manual did not say to use FAKE GM oil, it said it has to be Genuine? So, somebody out there must be making FAKE GM motor oil? Probably the Russians?

Next episode was changing the wiper blades. NOWHERE in that owners manual did it give the inch length of the wiper blades. Well GM did it again. On a 2013 Impala, it has TWO different sized wiper blades. Yep, on the passenger side the wiper blade length is 21 inches and the drivers side is 22 inches long. Many other cars and SUV’S and trucks are the same. One side longer than the other. I used a tape measure.

Finally it came time to ‘RESET” the oil life on the dash. Now this was an adventure. I went to the manual and looked up,” Reset Codes.”nope, not there. I went to “Oil Life” and it said to go to page M46. I go to page M46 and it says, see “capacities.” I went to that and it said, “See” Dash code resetting.” Then I had to figure out how to make the oil life light say, “100% Oil life. By then I felt like a nuclear bomb scientist. Whoever writes up and creates auto manuals needs to be tortured on public TV. Drive safe everybody! And if you need some extra firewood, toss in the owner’s manual! joseywales2@gmail.com