Oprah’s interview with British royal family members taps into every family’s problems, squabbles
“First world drama: a billionaire interviews two millionaires about a fairy tale existence that none of us could ever imagine.”
I wrote this description on Sunday night, just before Oprah Winfrey’s overly hyped interview with Meghan Markle and Prince Harry. I was purposely sarcastic with my assessment of what I expected to watch that night – nothing more than a gossip fest, splashed with some spilled tea, about royal this, royal that, blah, blah, boring, whatever, who cares.
Before the two-hour program ended, I already knew I was wrong.
Everyone on the planet seemed to care about this captivating conversation, including me. What did Meghan just say? What did Harry just say? What did Oprah press them about? The interview kept tapping me on the shoulder as I was writing another column. I eventually started paying more attention. First, a brief background for context.
I’ve never cared about the royal family of England, its history, its current status, its family members, or its existence. It has meant absolutely nothing in my life. Zilch. I’m not even sure if “royal family of England” is their correct title. I’ve never cared.
And then, 11 years ago, I began living with a woman who is a gushing, enthusiastic, unapologetic fan (some would say fanatic) of everything British monarchy. Its history, its current status, its family members. Everything. Unlike me, she has always cared about their existence. Our home reflects the rest of our country, divided on the topic of the British monarchy.
My fiancé, Karen, has been immersed in the royal family phenomenon since birth. Her late mother was born in England and she indoctrinated Karen about British history at a very young age. Vivienne Barloga had a quaint and quintessential British accent. She could read assembly directions for an Ikea product and make it sound absolutely delightful. Karen can perfectly imitate her mother’s British accent, which keeps Viv alive in our home.
Since her death, we’ve politely sipped every episode of “The Crown” on Netflix, and we’ve slurped down many other shows that were made in merry ol’ England. Yes, I still have trouble understanding some of the British dialogue, but I honestly enjoy it. I’m even trying to work some of it into casual conversations. “Off you pop!” “I’ll put on a kettle.” “Don’t be daft!” “Well, fancy that!”
Still, I didn’t care about Oprah’s interview with Harry and Meghan when my fiancé cued it up on our “telly” (you see, there I go again). Like I wrote on social media before the show, a billionaire interviews two millionaires about a fairy tale. Why should I care?
Well, I started caring when Harry and his pregnant wife began touching on universal family dynamics about their otherwise privileged lives. Who hasn’t drifted apart from a loved one, distanced by “space” until time healed their problems? Who hasn’t felt “trapped” in a family situation with no hope for parole? Who hasn’t felt “excluded” from their spouse’s family at times? And was Harry publicly protecting his wife because no one ever protected his mother, the late Princess Diana?
Regardless of the royal couple’s motivation to publicly share their feelings about “The Firm” or “The Institution,” and the racial bombshell that Oprah detonated on a global level, my interest was more about those common family dynamics. And the broader struggle that most of us share between real life and idyllic life.
How many relationships and marriages have started with fairy tale hopes and expectations until reality chokes the life out of it. Hurt feelings. Bitter resentment. Hushed secrets. Passive-aggressive comments. Camouflaged anger. Forced smiles. Too many of us have been royally screwed by such family politics. Too many of us also have been the ones to perpetrate such dark feelings under the guise of “Sorry, but this is my family.”
If you extract majestic descriptors such as monarchy and institution, England’s royal family is just another dysfunctional family, like our own families. Harry’s family is scarred with many of the same debaucheries – whispered accusations, childish dramas, petty differences. And yes, wisps of racism and bigotry.
This is partly why millions of viewers, including me, turned into royal gapers during that interview with Prince Harry and the Duchess of Sussex. Nearly three times the number of viewers watched CBS-TV that night compared to the previous Sunday night fodder. Whether or not you admit to being a curious gaper, the world continues to have an insatiable interest in the royal family. And why not? The British Commonwealth has historic associations with 55 countries, including many former British colonies.
Broader issues accentuated Oprah’s celebrity interview, such as how families (and nations) handle racial problems, how media outlets cover racism and how today’s society debates cancel culture versus consequence culture. For me, it all comes back to how every family has to deal with compound emotional fractures.
For decades, Queen Elizabeth II has been the figurehead matriarch of the royal family, similar to the figurehead women in all of our families. Maybe your family’s queen is named Big Mama or Nana or The Boss. It is their opinion that matters most about family squabbles, disputes, divisions and arguments. Most other family members are merely peasants, curtseying at their matriarch’s final decisions.
After Oprah’s interview aired, the world seemed to hold its breath until Queen Elizabeth released her 61-word statement on Tuesday. The way I saw it, any family’s matriarch could have written it, especially this universal line: “While some recollections may vary, they are taken very seriously and will be addressed by the family privately.”
The royal family’s “first world drama,” as I initially labeled it, had just as much to do with a commoner’s existence as a fairy tale existence. Imagine that.