Renter finds things out of place in room
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am renting a room from a single mother with two kids. I live in a bedroom on the opposite side of the house with my own bathroom. Most of the time I do not even see the children or their mother because of our schedules. The kids leave for school at 7 a.m., and I am up for work by 9 a.m. Lately, when I return from work, I notice small things in my bedroom and bathroom are out of place. I've gone so far as to take pictures of how everything looked before
I left just to make the comparison. It's safe to say that someone in the house is touching my things, and I'm assuming it's the children. How do I handle this without sounding too confrontational? — Don't Touch
DEAR DON'T TOUCH:
Talk to your landlord. Ask her to put locks on your doors. Kindly explain that you have noticed that things are out of place in your private spaces, and you imagine that the children's curiosity has led them into your bedroom and bathroom. Knowing that kids will be kids, you understand their urge to check out your space, but you want it to be off-limits. A simple lock on your doors can solve that.
Don't accuse the children of doing anything bad. They are likely just looking around. If the mom says she is certain this isn't happening, tell her about the photos you took to prove it to yourself. Show her, if needed. Either way, get the locks.
DEAR HARRIETTE:
During the height of the pandemic, my husband smoked weed every single day from morning to night. It drove me crazy having that smell wafting through my apartment every day. It died down a few months ago, but now it's back. It starts at 6 or 7 a.m. Before I get out of bed, I can smell that pungent odor. I am no prude. I get that he likes his weed, but I think it's outrageous that he smokes the moment he wakes up and then all day long whenever he's at home. How can I get him to curb his habit? — Weed Hours
DEAR WEED HOURS:
Appeal to his community spirit. Remind your husband that his incessant smoking was upsetting to your household during the pandemic. Tell him how disturbed you were to wake up to the smell of weed on a regular basis. Tell him how disappointed you were to discover that he is back to his old patterns. Ask him to reconsider when he smokes. Plead with him to keep the morning smoke-free. Explain how upsetting it is for you to wake up to the smell of weed before you even open your eyes. Ask him to treat weed like he would a drink. Reserve its use until after hours, after the workday is done.
Sadly, I doubt that he will comply, but it's worth it to ask.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.