Working with homeostasis
In our last two articles, we covered why many personal change efforts fail. It’s about homeostasis, and the intricate balance of life. The multitude of variables that influence our habits, our thoughts, our beliefs and our attitude are beyond our capacity to grasp. The complexity of our biochemistry, our genetics, the impact of different experiences (which vary day to day, month to month and year to year), the modeling lessons giving us by our parents, the fortuity (or lack) in meeting the right person at the right time with the right message, what we eat, how well we sleep, how closely we are connected with others who share common goals… and the list could go on of the factors that impact our current habits and tendencies.
Bottom line: We function in an intricately balanced system (i.e., homeostatic system) and our brains tell us we should be able to change that whole system because we want it. Some books and speakers will fire you up, and tell you this.
And the bigger seduction is to seek massive changes (i.e., revamp the entire system) and do it now. Why so quickly? Because we LOVE instant results. We can be hooked on this easily. But again, without an appreciation of the complexity of this beautiful, amazingly balanced system…failure is the likely outcome.
This is not about Dr Cale being a stick in the mud, and suggesting that change is impossible. Wrong. Major change is possible, and it is readily doable. Starting now.
But to do so, we must work with and appreciate the power of sustained effort over time to gently nudge that homeostatic system to a new ‘set point’ of balance (our goal). When we do it that way, the system is now balanced and fights for us to maintain that new balance. Our goal or outcome is then supported by homeostasis. Thus, our efforts can turn elsewhere, at least to a large extent.
Last week we covered the following points, that help you work toward consistent effort over time. Please read that article to explore these in greater detail. Today we pick up from there.
• Broaden your scope of time • Find a big WHY. It gives you the automatic big TRY.
• The 1 percent solution keeps you grounded.
4. A Year Worth Living is a Year Worthy of a Plan.
A week worth living is a week worthy of a plan. A day worth living is worthy of a plan. Yet get the idea. Most folks wake up with virtually no plan for the year, perhaps a few thoughts about their week, and a very rough plan of the day. The exception typically involves commitments to others. For that, they will have a time and place, and usually be there. They do not wake up with a plan for themselves. They simply never get around to it. Or, they consider a ‘to-do list’ the same as a plan. It is not.
Here’s a simple test that will let you know if you are serious about change in your life: Live four weeks, with a map for the week ahead of you, and commit to finishing this by Sunday night. Fill in the details of dates and times for your commitments, making certain that YOUR COMMITMENTS to you are equal to those you make to others. Do not go to sleep without a map, laid out in advance, that honors whatever change you are starting. If you can’t find a way to plan your results in advance, then you might as well go ask a psychic if you have there’s a genie in your future. Your desired change is simply magical thinking that will ultimately be used against you to generate sadness and self-defeating thoughts.
Please keep in mind that this weekly plan must also attend to the importance of incremental change over time. Read last week’s article: Do not try to shift a sleep schedule by three hours tomorrow, or start exercising for 90 minutes when your body hasn’t moved in a year.
5. Design the Plan So You Virtually Can Not Fail
How to do this? Seek the small change, and make it easily doable. Make is so you can’t help but achieve success, and start to feel good about that. Get that under your belt for a week, and then notice what happens. Success breeds more success. Habits are more predictably changed in this way.
If you start walking for 15 minutes a day, this is workable. Do that for a week or two, and notice how you start to cheat and stretch it to 20 minutes. This is the magic.
Right action will breed more right action. Trust this.
Do not trust the mind (and it will try) that says you are different. You can do it. You can make the massive change starting tomorrow. This is the torturous path.
Trust a change that you guarantee your life on. In other words, you would bet your very existence on the steps you have in front of you for the week. You can do five minutes of yoga. You can walk 15 minutes. You can cut back one ½ drink per day, if drinking excessively. You can cut out one smoke a day. You can set your phone, all electronics to cut off 30 minutes earlier today. You can say “I love you” one more time a day to your kids.
These, with pre-planning, you can do. Have a plan, a map for your day tomorrow, that starts you in the right direction BUT only so much so that you know you cannot fail. This secret here is momentum, that gradually builds over time. Do this, and see what this momentum feels like in four weeks.