Spring break
It’s easy to pick on millennials so I do my level best to leave them alone. That said my eyes almost rolled out of my head when I recently read that 30 percent of college students use money from their government backed student loans to go on spring break vacations. I’ll bet you didn’t know you were helping Todd and Buffy fund their drinking binge in Cancun this year did you? I sat down at my computer to bang out 800 words on how irresponsible this behavior is but then I remembered what I did when I was in college; twice.
Being smart and somewhat frugal I spent my first two years of college at H.V.C.C. I figured why spend 30k on a four year school when I could get the exact same credits for a fraction of the cost. Back then Hudson Valley was about $1,200 a year. That barely pays for text books these days.
My sophomore year at H.V.C.C. my best friend John asked me if I was up for a trip to Daytona Beach for spring break? I said enthusiastically, “Heck yeah.” How many illfated adventures started with those two seemingly innocent words?
We were amazed how cheap the trip was, something like $599 for a round trip bus from Troy to Daytona and five nights in a motel near the beach. We of course would learn that “near the beach” meant if you stood on the roof of the hotel with the Hubble telescope you might be able to glean some semblance of water in the distance. But I digress.
The bus trip sounds exciting and it is for about the first eight hours. Think about it, a bus jammed with 50 college kids drinking beer (the legal age was still 18 back then) and singing “Come on Eileen” on an endless loop. It was a blast for a while until you realize you drank all the beer, ate all the Cheetos and the same boy or girl who wouldn’t talk to you on campus didn’t suddenly find you attractive on this stinking bus. And by stinking I mean that literally.
For 24 hours straight you sit in that cramped seat waiting for the Promised Land, Daytona Beach. Then you arrive and realize quickly that this whole spring break thing is really designed to do one thing, separate you from your money.
Listen, the ocean was warm and inviting and the bars at night were fun but the image we got of spring break watching MTV was a bit misleading. For that bargain price of $599 I think we had four people sleeping to a room and everyone was snoring. About four days in my buddy came up with a genius idea. He said, “Let’s take what money we have left and buy an airline ticket home.” Back then you could fly back and forth to Florida for about hundred bucks. I was a little short on cash but he lent me the rest and we decided to skip the smelly 24 hour bus ride home. To this day that’s the best $100 I’ve ever spent.
You’d think after being scarred financially and emotionally I’d never go on spring break again but being young you are almost always stupid and I was no exception. Two years later when I was a senior at SUNY Oswego my suitemates at my dorm came to me with a “can’t miss” proposition. They told me a girl who didn’t like us named Julie was driving alone to visit her grandfather in Fort Lauderdale for spring break and if we took turns driving she’d pay for the gas to get us there. We could also sleep on the couch at her grandpa’s condo so all we needed was money for food and beverages. I mean the trip was practically free. Like a moron I went.
By the time we hit Georgia Julie wasn’t speaking to any of us but we eventually made it to Lauderdale. Unfortunately after coming in late and loud the very first night her grandfather threw us out of the condo. Since none of us had that much money we found seven other guys we knew and the ten of us rented a single room at a shady motel. Problem is there was one bed for ten idiots so if you weren’t in bed by 8 p.m. you had to sleep on the floor like a dog. Fun right?
When it came time to drive home we were all nearly broke so we pooled our money and purchased one loaf of bread and a jumbo jar of peanut butter and that’s what we ate for the next two days. Julie, who still wasn’t speaking to any of us, kept stopping for fast food and eating it in front of us as payback for ticking off her grandfather. You know how there are always a few French fries at the bottom of the bag? Yeah she ate those too out of spite. So when I hear millennials are acting like fools to go on spring break. I shut up.