The Record (Troy, NY)

What kind of music does God like?

- John Ostwald

When I go to church I enjoy the music and the terrific choir but often wonder who picks the religious songs? I assumed the head choir person or music director or cleric. I hope God has a sense of humor because this column is intended to be comedic not irreverent.

Like you, music has been a very important part of my life. I play piano, and in high school, at LaSalle Institute, I also played the sousaphone. This is the gigantic instrument that wraps around you like an anaconda. Most people think it is called a tuba. I wasn’t big enough to be on the football team but I used to carry that heavy brass monster for many blocks during big parades! How ironic.

I remember certain songs that match up with significan­t times in my life. For example, I’ll always have strong feelings when I hear the song by Journey, “Girl Can’t Help It.” It often comforted me during a difficult divorce process. The song “Ave Maria ”will always move me to tears because it was sung at grandfathe­r Zucaro’s funeral by Jerry Brehm. It was the right tune and right singer to celebrate my grandfathe­r’s life. Both of my grandfathe­rs played musical instrument­s. I told my sons to play the song “Lifted BY Love” by KD Lang at my funeral.

Okay back to my original question. How am I going to find out what God likes? I got it! Email! I remember when Expresiden­t, Obama, came to Hudson Valley Community College in 2009. At the time, I wondered if he would come to my house for dinner. I emailed my invitation to the White House. He declined my invitation but thanked me. Email! That’s it but how to I find out God’s email address? I went to yahweh.com, jesus. com, vishnu.com, allah.com and even tried mythical gods like zeus.com and Odin .com I found some interestin­g websites but no email addressed for any of the deities. I contacted a few local clerics but I could tell right away that they wanted no part that they wanted no part of my psycho column.

I did some more informatio­n gathering and believe or not found a column with a title similar to min by Lisa Beatty in the Emmaus journal. Most of the songs mentioned in the column had to do with the biblical or other religious scriptures.

A few days after I started my goofy adventure, I got an email from someone that used the address that looked like “listening always.” I assumed it was God sending his playlist. The list seems to favor classic rock maybe because God is old and noticeably absent are classical songs, country and western and rap. A PS on the bottom of the email said to look up the live versions on YouTube especially songs like “Layla” and “I Like It Like That.” Here is the list.

• Jesus Is Just Alright, Doobie Brothers

• You’ve Got Another Thing Coming, Judas Priest

• Thunderstr­uck, AC/DC

• My Sweet Lord, George Harrison

• Layla, Eric Clapton

• Mama, Jerry Vale

• I Like It Like That, Tito Nieves

• Run To You, Bryan Adams • Finger Tips Part Two, Stevie Wonder

• Mysterious, Najee

• Turn Up The Radio, Autograph

• Send Me An Angel, Scorpions• Happy, Pharrell Williams • Gangnam Style, PSY

As I mentioned in the beginning of the column, I believe that God has a sense of humor. If I am wrong, I could get bumped off like that guy Onan in the Bible. I’ll take my chances.

John Ostwald is professor emeritus of psychology at Hudson Valley Community College in Troy. Email him at jrostwald3­3@gmail.com.

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