Bring picky eating to an end, part I
Many parents believe that their picky eater is not a candidate for becoming overweight, yet this is not accurate. Many times, the picky eater develops habits that support only eating high carbohydrate foods, and foods high in unhealthy fat.
The consequence is that these children sometimes refuse to eat healthy foods, and parents engage in repeated struggles to get them to eat. After a while, many abandon this and simply cater to the ‘pickiness’ of the picky eater. Big problem.
Yet, the solutions often proffered to struggling parents are ineffective and actually make things worse. But this need not be the case. You can turn around a picky eater, if you have a clear game plan. Below is the Terrific Parenting strategy that will allow you to regain control over your home, and get your child on track for a healthy life. These steps usually work, so let’s jump into it now. We’ll cover the first two steps today.
1. Adjust your mindset. Who is going to work harder?
To expand the foods your child eats, it is essential to let go of the idea that you can (or should) force or demand your kids to eat healthy food.
This is not to say that you relinquish the goal of healthy eating and having them enjoy a wide range of foods. It simply acknowledges that negotiating, pleading, reminding, yelling or demanding your children to eat healthier will not work. If it did, no one would likely read this article.
So, now you have a healthy meal in front of your picky eater. It’s yummy and good for them. Your work is done (for this moment). The key question to hold in mind at this time is this: Who is going to work harder to resolve your child’s hunger, mom/dad or child? Always stay “in the business” of mom or dad, providing healthy, tasty food for your child. However, pay attention: if you feel your gut starting to be uncomfortable, please take a pause. Notice who is actually trying to resolve the struggle more? If you start to try to fix their complaints, their whining, their demand for something else, your gut will tell you something is off. Stop. Just allow this moment to be, without fixing or changing anything.
This is crtical to master. When your child is exposed to healthy food and they turn away even though hungry, don’t try to fix it. You provided the healthy food, and that’s your job. Their job is to simply learn from their hunger, that it’s time to eat.
2. Ignore complaints, whining, crying, demanding and tantrums over food.
When actually sitting at the table, if children complain and pick at their food, do not engage them in any fashion during these times. Instead, engage with someone else at the table, simply ignoring their complaints and criticisms of the food. When your child begins to talk without complaint or begins eating, engage and talk to them freely.
Is this hard? Very hard. It feels like your are supporting child hunger, yet you are not. The healthy food is sitting right there. Relief from their pain is sitting right in front of them.
Now, is there more? Of course. But for today, that’s where you start. Next week, we will iron out the other details. But try your best to wrap your head around this piece, as success will be contingent on that.
The solutions often proffered to struggling parents are ineffective and actually make things worse. But this need not be the case.
Dr. Randy Cale, a Clifton Park-based parenting expert, author, speaker and licensed psychologist, offers practical guidance for a host of parenting concerns. His website, www.TerrificParenting. com, offers free parenting guidance and an email newsletter. Readers can learn more by reviewing past articles found on the websites of The Saratogian, The Record and The Community News. Submit questions to DrRandyCale@gmail. com.