A yo-yo relationship
DEAR ANNIE » My husband and I have been married for 29 years. Three years ago, I discovered that he was having an affair. He claimed that the affair was ending anyway, that he loved me and that he wasn’t interested in being with the other woman. We went to counseling, together and separately, but after about nine months, he said he wanted a divorce. I was devastated. We filled out and signed divorce papers that he had printed online, but he said he wasn’t going to file them yet.
I was casually looking for an apartment to rent, not thinking he would really file the papers, but one day he walked into our bedroom and asked me whether I could give him an estimate of when I would be moving out. A few days after that, I happened to drive past a town house for sale, and within a couple of days, I had decided to buy it. Because we were not yet divorced, I had to ask my husband for help, which he gave. Amazingly, though, he asked me whether I was buying the town house for me to live in or for us!
The town house is in my name only, and I have been living here for a little over a year. Since I moved out, however, rarely has a day gone by when my husband hasn’t come over to spend time with me. We spend the evenings watching TV, go out to dinner and otherwise behave like a married couple. He filed the divorce papers the day I moved out of our house, but when we both were notified of a court date, he canceled it, and the divorce was dropped. Since then, he has brought up three or four times that he wants us to get a divorce but live together like a married couple because he wants a chance to woo me back and prove how much he loves me. Each time, I was very hurt and cut off communication with him, and each time, he would plead with me to give him another chance, saying he would never bring the subject up again.
Well, guess what. Last night, he brought over divorce papers, which I signed. I told him that he’d better let the divorce proceed this time because I’m tired of this. He thinks it’s no big deal to get divorced, and he doesn’t understand why I’m so upset. Oh, and the kicker? He wants to retire in a year and a half and then get married again! Am I crazy, or is he? — Tired of the Yo-Yo
DEAR TIRED OF THE YO-YO » You’re not crazy — but it would certainly be understandable if you were a little crazy after all your husband has put you through. Though I can’t say exactly what’s going on in this yoyo’s head, clearly he’s only thinking of himself. He’s demonstrated a staggering lack of empathy.
You need to move on, but he’ll make sure that’s impossible as long as he’s around. So it’s important that you discontinue contact with him until your wounds fully heal. If you don’t already have a divorce attorney, consider hiring one. He or she could be his point of contact so you don’t have to be. That would free you up to focus on taking care of yourself. Start therapy again. Make your home a sanctuary. Join a gym; there’s nothing like realizing your strength. Designate some “emergency contacts” — friends or family you can call when you feel as if you want to call him. Make it so that when he inevitably tries reeling you back in, he finds you’ve cut the string.
“Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s debut book — featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http:// www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@ creators.com.
Is it us, or does it seem as if we just went through an entire market cycle in the space of six months as record highs set during the latter part of February were followed by a COVID stoked 34% decline over the ensuing 23 trading days and then a subsequent 38% rally to close out the second quarter.
Despite the potential for a much needed pullback after such an historic rally, it is safe to assume that over the next several quarters (4-8) the economy will improve dramatically – and that is what investors should focus their attention upon and not the dismal upcoming quarterly earnings that will be reported.
As a result of timely responses from the Federal
Reserve, Treasury, Congress and the Trump Administration, the unemployment rate has fallen from 14% to just above 11% with the economy reemploying 7,500,000 Americans. Consumer Sentiment has recovered to pre-pandemic levels as the Manufacturing as well as Service sector components of the Institute for Supply Management’s Composite Index currently indicate expanding economic activity.
Further tailwinds to economic growth include multi- decade low interest rates which has supporting the housing market, consumer spending and supported historically lofty equity market valuations. In our opinion, the Fed will remain accommodative for the foreseeable future.
Nonetheless, we recognize that meaningful challenges remain for the economy and for society on the whole and that a return to normalcy will most likely be a multiyear process. Notably, substantial improvements in employment, specifically in the service and hospitality sectors will remain difficult. Opening our schools poses further hurdles, not only as it pertains to the educational and socialization process of children, but also as it impacts those parents responsible for their care.
Returning to the workforce fulltime may not be an option. Finally, as the pandemic wears on, expect municipal, state and federal budget deficits to become an issue.
Headlining the recent news is the realization that many states have recently experienced outbreaks of the COVID-19 virus while others continue to deal with stubbornly high numbers resulting in an economy that will continue to operate at suboptimal levels until an effective antidote and vaccine is discovered, hopefully during the first half of 2021.
Lately we have been receiving numerous calls regarding the upcoming Presidential Election and the risk specific outcomes may pose for the financial markets. Although historically it has been irrelevant whether a Republican or Democrat occupies the oval office, this November may be different and bears watching.
A reelection of President Trump would probably come as a result of an improving economy between now and election day whereas a President Joe Biden would most likely cause some shortterm consternation for investors but might offer a better chance for an infrastructure program as well as improved relations with our traditional allies.
Love it or hate it, the financial markets will probably respond most favorably to a split between the executive and legislative branches as it will maintain a certain level of checks and balances. Time will tell. We think it short- sighted to make too much of it either way.
Despite our belief that the rally will be uneven from these levels, keep in mind that including the second quarter, there have been only ten quarters since WWII in which the stock market has rallied more than 15% and every time stocks have been higher over the following quarter.
Although we think this record will be difficult to maintain, due to the trillions of dollars of fiscal stimulus being pumped into the economy vis a vis transfer payments, we also believe the downside to be limited.
Please note that all data is for general information purposes only and not meant as specific recommendations. The opinions of the authors are not a recommendation to buy or sell the stock, bond market or any security contained therein. Securities contain risks and fluctuations in principal will occur. Please research any investment thoroughly prior to committing money or consult with your financial advisor. Please note that Fagan Associates, Inc. or related persons buy or sell for itself securities that it also recommends to clients. Consult with your financial advisor prior to making any changes to your portfolio. To contact Fagan Associates, Please call (518) 279-1044.