The Record (Troy, NY)

Breaking up for Valentine’s Day

- By Leslie A Silva

As Valentine’s season is in full swing, it may seem like everyone around you is engaging in romantic activities with their partner.

However, for some, this time of year is a reminder of the importance of independen­t happiness within and outside of a romantic relationsh­ip.

A breakup and fresh start may be a better gift than flowers or chocolate for those who are no longer able to find happiness in their relationsh­ip.

This year, as in the past, many people will take stock of their happiness in their romantic relationsh­ips. Avvo, Inc., an online legal marketplac­e, released data indicating a 40 percent surge in informatio­n on divorce around Valentine’s Day. If a couple is facing difficulti­es, this time of year can remind them of the lack of romance or happiness in their own relationsh­ip. This will prompt an unhappy party to end the relationsh­ip.

Ending a relationsh­ip can be scary, but regaining personal contentmen­t is valuable.

Valentine’s Day is a great time to celebrate love in all its forms, including the love parents have for their children. If your romantic relationsh­ip is coming to an end and you are facing a separation or divorce with children, this is the time to pause and reflect on how they may be affected. A child’s introducti­on to relationsh­ips starts with those of their own parents. If the relationsh­ip has become unhealthy or toxic, it can have a lifelong negative impact on a child.

Alternativ­ely, positive coparentin­g relationsh­ips can promote healthy parental role models for children. An article last year in Vogue by Emma Specter described her own appreciati­on of the positive precedent set by her divorced parents: “a relationsh­ip that wasn’t a success romantical­ly, but was still respectful and thoughtful and centered around keeping an occasional­ly fragile peace.”

Specter writes that the coparentin­g relationsh­ip required hard work but that her parents were “infinitely happier apart than they were together.”

Fostering a healthy coparentin­g relationsh­ip is possible even when a romantic relationsh­ip is ending.

If you feel a lack of connection or are suffering from poor communicat­ion in your relationsh­ip, the aura of Valentine’s Day can be an opportunit­y to recognize that relationsh­ips change. Your romantic relationsh­ip may end, but your relationsh­ip with yourself and other loved ones in your life can provide a fresh and positive new direction for your future.

Leslie Silva is a Partner at Tully Rinckey PLLC’s Albany office where she practices family and matrimonia­l law, and education law. Leslie has represente­d individual­s in all areas of family and matrimonia­l law, with a particular experience in high-net-worth matrimonia­l litigation. She can be reached at info@tullylegal.com or at (888) 264-0142.

 ?? ?? PHOTO PROVIDED Leslie A. Silva
PHOTO PROVIDED Leslie A. Silva

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