Don’t date out of obligation

Dear Annie: My girlfriend, “Lucy,” and I started dating three years ago, during our senior year of college. After graduating, we both got jobs in the same city where we had gone to school, and we ended up moving in together to save money. Lucy is a good partner. She’s always encouraged me to push myself to pursue my passions. She’s the reason I ended up applying to a dream job even though it was across the country. I moved out here last month. The plan was for me to come out and get settled; then Lucy would follow a few months later. Things are going really well. The problem is I’m having second thoughts about Lucy.

She’s a great person, and I wouldn’t even be out here if it weren’t for her encouragement. But I just don’t find myself feeling the same sparks. I don’t really miss her. When I see her name lighting up my phone, I have to force myself to answer it.

She’s flying out for a visit soon. I don’t know what to do. Should I just wait for her to move out here and see how things go? Or do I need to break it off before then? Feeling Guilty Dear Feeling Guilty: If you’re feeling guilty now, imagine how you’ll feel if she moves there. It’s time to end things. Keep it short and sweet. Thank her for the years you’ve shared, and then tell her you want to break up. Have this talk sooner rather than later. You’re not doing her any favors by dating her out of a sense of obligation.

Dear Annie: I’m a prostate cancer survivor. I notice lots of pink in October for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, but I haven’t noticed as much light blue in September for National Prostate Health Month. Although there is not much of September left at the time I’m writing this, I’m still hoping to get some of these facts out.

Prostate cancer is the most common cancer among men. About 1 in 7 men will develop prostate cancer in their lifetimes, and about 1 in 39 men will die from the disease. Risk factors include age, family history and race. African-American men are likelier to develop this form of cancer. Know your risk. Talk to your doctor. Survivor in Blue Dear Survivor in Blue: Though it’s no longer September, your message is as important as ever.