Kids on Santa’s lap: Concerns, tips for parents

Photo op brings cautions during a wary era

NEW HAVEN — George McCleary, president of the Connecticut Society of Santas, has a cardinal rule when it comes to training prospective Kris Kringles: Always keep your hands where people can see them.

Perhaps it’s a product of vigilant times or fleeting thoughts in some parents’ minds. Politicians, entertainers, journalists or professional athletes are in the news cycle every day.

But jolly old Saint Nicholas?

“As a general rule of thumb, we teach people, and we’ve been doing it for a long time, to always have your hands showing,” said McCleary. “If someone’s looking at you or taking a picture, they can see your hands. So there’s no question and nobody can say, ‘Hey, you were doing something to my child?’ ”

McCleary should know. He been a Santa for more than 45 years and holds programs and workshops to better prepare Santas and Mrs. Clauses for challenges they may face. Along with teaching prospective Santas how to shake their bellies like bowls full of jelly, he teaches how to work with autistic children and learning basic sign language and Spanish. And he also covers more specific situations such as dealing with difficult situations.

In October, the society held its annual three-day Santa workshop at the Sheraton Hartford South in Rocky Hill.

According to its website, many of its Santas are available for home visits, corporate parties or appearances at Christmas fairs, restaurants and retail establishments for photo opportunities.

Whether mall Santa, meet-and-greet Santa, storyteller Santa, interactive party Santa, or Christmas carol sing-a-long Santa, “they all share the same enthusiasm for the season.”

(It should be noted that several members of CTSS also appear at events as Uncle Sam, leprechauns, clowns and magicians throughout the year.)

McCleary said the emphasis on hand visibility is simply due to the nature of today’s culture, pointing to several recent lawsuits where Santas have been accused of improperly touching children. He recounted one instance in particular where he said it turned out a woman was trying to extort money from a mall.

Rick George, of Milford, a longtime Santa Claus, said he always gives children the option of sitting on his lap, but often leans them against his leg so that they don’t feel uncomfortable.

“I also act with the child in front of the parent or another adult,” George said. “If a child or a parent wants a hug I will not turn them away and I will give them a very broad bear hug but always take the lead from them.”

He said the adult public can be “inappropriate with Santas especially after too much to drink.”

In those cases, George said, “I will quietly admonish them immediately in a civil way that prevents embarrassment to them or me.”

“To me Santa is a larger than life loving secular figure that spreads joy and holiday spirit,” George said.

That’s not to say there haven’t been incidents.

In 2013, a man who played Santa Claus at a Massachusetts mall was barred from the shopping center after he was charged with groping an 18-year-old woman playing an elf, according to the Associated Press.

A decade ago, a then-33year-old woman posing for a picture with Santa Claus at Danbury Fair mall allegedly inappropriately touched a then-65-year-old worker dressed as Santa while sitting on his lap, according to the Danbury News-Times, a sister publication of the Register Citizen. She later received accelerated rehabilitation, a special form of probation for first-time offenders.

In addition to not raising her children to believe in Santa, Nijijia-Ife Waters, of Hamden, said she’s against her children sitting on anyone’s lap, not just Santa’s, because of the society we live in today.

“To me it’s one of those Catch-22s with parents. If that’s something you believe in and that’s something that you want to do, then go for it, but me personally, I’m always skeptical. You don’t know (who) these people are ... you have no idea,” she said.

Sarah Amaral-Weston, of Hamden, doesn’t plan on raising her 7-month-old son to believe in Santa either. She said he will learn about “the culture of Santa” but will know the gifts under the tree came from his parents. If her son wants to take a picture with Santa, Amaral-Weston is open to that, but “at the same time, there’s a little part of me that’s just like taking a child to see a stranger and sit on his lap, kind of creepy.”

Meanwhile, Santas have had their share of problems, too.

George McCleary, of Thomaston, has been a Santa for over 45 years. He recalled an adult party in his earlier Santa years where he was chased by several intoxicated drunk bank tellers.

“I used to do adult parties and one time they were drinking liquor and these bank tellers got a little tipsy and kept kissing my beard and getting lipstick all over it. At the end, I got up to leave and they chased me down the street,” he said. “A police car pulled up next to me while I’m running down the street with like 10 women after me, and they wanted to know if everything was all right. They drove off laughing.”