Friend calls mom by name

Dear Annie: My son’s best friend, “Travis,” has started to call me by my first name. For as long as I can remember, I was “Mrs. Thomas.” But yesterday, when I brought over lunch for the boys, Travis said, “Thanks, Susan.” I thought it may have been a joke and chuckled a little. But the next day, I drove Travis and my son to hockey practice. When he got out of the car, he said, “Thanks for the lift, Susan.” It appears that this is the new normal with him. Later that evening, I asked my son and he said that Travis’ dad told him that because he got a job and gets a paycheck, he can call adults by their first name. I don’t want to tell anyone how to parent, but that rule strikes me as ridiculous, especially because they are 15 years old. Am I being too old-fashioned? His Elder Dear His Elder: You’re not being old-fashioned; you’re simply being aware. Anytime you notice a change in the behavior of your teenage son or his friends, it is important to take note.

Now that you know that it’s his father’s wish that he use the first name, you know this new habit isn’t from a lack of respect. That said, you have every right to be called what you like to be called. Next time Travis calls you Susan, smile and say, “Travis, I preferred it when you called me Mrs. Thomas.”

Dear Annie: After over 40 years of marriage, I realize I am like a trained dog. I really can’t remember the most recent time we went anywhere together. I’ve almost begged just to tag along when you have to run errands. You ignored my requests.

I’ve forgiven you for your affairs, but I haven’t forgotten. The hurt is still there. Do I trust you? No. Do I love you? I do, but I doubt your love for me.

Your thoughts are that I am so lucky because you provide and you don’t physically or verbally abuse me. The silent abuse is emotional abuse. You believe I am a strong woman, because I never complain. When I do try explaining that I am unhappy being on my own, nothing changes.

I don’t want sympathy, because I knew all these years that I would keep getting what I was taking. And I didn’t want to be a failure by giving up and divorcing. If only I could go back 40 years! Dear Older and Wiser: An open letter’s not very open if it’s kept secret from its addressee. You need to tell your husband how you feel and either work together to rectify things or move on.