Man prioritizes his lifestyle

Dear Annie: I am a 23-yearold gay man. I have been living with my 56-year-old boyfriend, “Bob,” for the past four years. I love Bob but am no longer in love with him. I would like to move out but don’t make very much money and can’t afford it. I can’t move back with either parent. My brother lives with my mom, and my dad pretty much disowned me when I started seeing Bob. I’ve grown accustomed to the lifestyle I have with Bob. We go out to dinner often and on many exotic cruises and vacations. I’m not ready to give those up. What should I do? Spoiled

Dear Spoiled: Everyone deserves to be with someone who really wants to be with him, and you’re denying Bob that opportunity. See whether you can stay with a friend for a few weeks while you set aside enough money for renting your own room. You’re 23 years old; you should be working toward financial independence.

Dear Annie: I disagree with your advice to “Stuck in Santa Fe.” You said she and her boyfriend should put their plans on hold while they await news of an uncertain job transfer, which may come many months down the road.

The best advice anyone ever gave me as a young man was to assume that nothing will ever change. This is not to say you should ignore the future or never plan for change. It simply means you should not put your life on hold waiting for things that may never happen.

That Santa Fe couple should live in the present, look for that better apartment and continue planning their life together now. But at the same time, they should keep looking for that next opportunity and be prepared to manage that change when it actually arrives.

If they follow my advice and the boyfriend gets the job of his dreams, they may have to lose one month’s worth of rent. But even if that happens, they will at least have been in a better apartment and building their lives. And who knows? An even better opportunity may yet take them in another direction. So my advice: Always have plans for the future and work toward them, but live your life in the present. Fatherly Advice

Dear Fatherly Advice: I hear you. When patience becomes indolence, it’s no longer a virtue. To plan for the future but live in the present is excellent advice, so I’m glad to be printing your letter. involved. Do not hesitate to back off if you prefer to head in a different direction. Tonight: Plan a fun vacation.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

★★★★ Respond to someone’s overtures. What this person says and does could surprise you. If you don’t agree, let it be known. You could become uncomfortable with this person. Tonight: A friend has a suggestion.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

★★★★ Others seem to bend a little more than they typically do. You open up to different ideas as a response to another person’s change of behavior. Listen to news more carefully. Tonight: Accept a friend’s fun invitation.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

★★★★ You have a lot of energy focused on certain matters. Communication proves to be lively. Be aware of someone’s need to have things go his or her way. Choose your words with care. Tonight: TGIF with friends!

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

★★★★★ Your creativity surges. A financial matter could take a weird turn. Watch a tendency to go overboard with spending. A close friend is likely to change the topic or color the moment. Tonight: Let it all hang out.