Girlfriend pushes reluctant boyfriend for engagement

Dear Annie: My girlfriend and I have been dating for a little over 10 months now, and she has been pushing for an engagement since month three. I’ve been telling her I’m not ready for marriage. We are in a toxic relationship but have been working on it and have been improving step by step. The main reason I have been hesitant about marriage is the fact that she’s lazy. By “lazy,” I mean she won’t get a job unless it’s exactly the one she wants, and she won’t do any kind of cleaning. I work a full-time job, as well as a part-time job, and clean in my spare time. I’m getting terribly exhausted. We are a young couple; I’m 21, and she’s 18. We are not financially stable at all. She has had a tough life and has a lot of issues. She has an anger issue and gets angry about the smallest of things. She has told me she won’t wait forever to get married. How can I explain that we aren’t ready for marriage? Not Ready

Dear Not Ready: Open and honest communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship, and you can’t have that when one partner is living in constant fear of the other’s wrath.

You stated that you’re working on making the relationship nontoxic. However, until she works on herself, anything you do to try improving the relationship will be like putting a Band-Aid on a broken arm. Futile.

It sounds as though the best thing for both of your futures might be to go your separate ways. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.

Dear Annie: Recently, someone wrote to you to remind people about the importance of sending older relatives photos. My father was in a nursing home. We purchased an internet-connected “smart” photo frame for him. Once I had set up the account, anyone I gave the username and password to could add photos. With the click of a smartphone, any of us could have new photos display for Dad.

Ours was made by Nix-play, but I am sure there are others. It was the best gift we ever gave him! Loving Daughter Dear Loving Daughter: Just in time for Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. It looks as though Aluratek, Micca and several other companies also make this type of frame. For readers who are interested: Be sure the frame is Wi-Fienabled if you want to be able to add pictures from afar. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.