Ex Stealing Money?

Dear Annie: My wife left me a little over a year ago. She handled all the finances and was a stay-at-homemom. After six months of counseling and her refusing to budge, the marriage was over. Upon review of my finances, I discovered that over the last four years of our marriage, she spent 55% of my takehome earnings without my knowledge. This amounted to $155,000. She says it was spent on living expenses, while our family checking account shows those expenses were drawn from it. Another way to put it is this: Combining our family checking account andher spending without my knowledge, 90% of my earnings were spent before a single bill was paid. Is this plausible? Or does some malfeasance seem probable?

Baffled By Checking Account Dear Baffled: Good riddance. Consider yourself fortunate to be rid of her. It does sound like she might have been taking money for a separate account or spending it on things you didn’t knowabout. I am sorry that you had to go through that, but nowis the time for a new beginning. Take some time to heal from your divorce and try to focus on things that make you happy.

Dear Annie: Myhusband and I were best friends with another couple, but the wife was difficult to be friends with.

It was uncomfortable to be around her at times, but I overlooked a lot of the negatives. Apparently, she had kept a mental list of the things she disliked about me, and when we had our final falling out, she recited all of my transgressions. I told her that we were no longer friends, that I would remain cordial in public but nothing else. Since then, she has acted like I’m invisible. Both she andher husband say “hello” to myhusband but pretend I’m not there. For the last two years, I’ve not spoken to either of them. We are around them often. Is my only response ignoring them, too?

Feeling Shut Out

Dear Feeling Shut Out: The saddest part about her is how much she must dislike herself that she has to make lists of people’s negative traits. She is not likely to change, but you can make yourself a happier person by not sinking to her level.