Missing deceased wife makes finding love even harder

Dear Annie: I’m a man with a very difficult problem. My deceased wife and I separated. I was halfway through a six-month cancer treatment when she left. After a few days, she called and told me that she had made the biggest mistake of her life by leaving me. However, she would not return home. I got tired of the everyday battle with the chemo, so I went to my dad’s.

He, my wife and I talked often and even met to spend time together. While all this was going on, she was diagnosed with terminal cancer and wanted to be with her family in her final days. I agreed, and she went back to her hometown. We talked periodically, and I knew she was very ill but did not know that she was so close to death. She passed away in 2018.

My problem is that I still love her. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think of her. I live alone and have friends but I don’t have a close relationship with a woman. I miss that very much. What am I to do? I’m still young enough to fall in love again.

Missing Love

Dear Missing: I am very sorry for your loss. There is life before you lose someone you love deeply, and life after. And you, my friend, are living in the after. While I can’t take away your pain, I can suggest a few things that might help. For starters, find a support group for people who have lost spouses. Try not to be so hard on yourself. You will find love again, but you must deal with your grief first. Be patient and give yourself time to heal. You will always have memories of your wife, and, in time, you will start making new memories.