The Register Citizen (Torrington, CT)
Female candidate finds backlash to calling out sexist post
Rebekah HarrimanStites, influenced by her mother, knew from an early age that public service would be a part of her life. It is who she is.
That’s one reason why she’s trying again to represent her hometown of Newtown in the state Capitol in Hartford. But this election is not like any other in her experience — much to her surprise.
Even as the country celebrates the 100th anniversary of suffragettes winning the right for women to vote, some female candidates for public office are encountering pushbacks.
“This time is a lot more different,” Rebekah said this week in a Zoom conversation with me. “I don’t know why I’m surprised, given the tenor of our country.”
Here’s what happened. A few weeks ago, Rebekah was looking at her opponent’s Facebook page, Mitch for Newtown. Mitch Bolinsky, a Republican who has represented the town for eight years, is seeking a fifth term for the 106th District, which is completely in Newtown.
“I read the post, and had to read it three times. ‘Wait, is it really happening?’ I thought,” she said.
The post said “seniors don’t need a pretty face & promises, they need a man of action who understands and genuinely cares. That’s Mitch.”
I see that as condescending at best, misogynistic at worst. Through any lens, it’s simply not appropriate today.
Rebekah was right to call him out on that.
Mitch removed the post and called her to apologize. He blamed the “old fashioned John Wayne reference” on a campaign agency. We could debate whether a candidate should see everything under his or her name before it’s made public, but that’s beside the point at the moment.
It could have stayed an ill-advised 1950s throwback, apology made and accepted, except for the reaction. Not from Mitch, who is generally polite as I’ve known him through the years. From others.
Rebekah was called a liar. Get over it, she was told. Not that big of a deal. It’s during a pandemic and people need to be more forgiving. You’re trying to cancel-culture Mitch.
“It’s been an eye-opener,” she said. “I’m told you just have to have a thick skin.”
It’s not about thick or thin skin. It’s about not ignoring something inappropriate. If you shrug and look away, what kind of example is that?
When Rebekah sent out a mailer critical of Mitch’s vote on the Millstone nuclear power plant in Waterford, some responded she was too ambitious.
“I got so much backlash. How dare I do that,” she said. “I’m not allowed to hold him accountable? It’s a double standard.”
I’m not going to get into the policy differences between candidates here. My focus, and the reason I asked to speak with Rebekah, is on how women are treated.
A responsibility
Now, I know this: Some will say I’m making too much out of an isolated incident. A few weeks back when I wrote about Vice President Mike Pence interrupting Sen. Kamala Harris — “I’m speaking,” she finally said — some readers suggested it wasn’t a feminist issue. If women want to run for office, why should they be treated differently than men? Not different, equal.
Some will say the “pretty face” Facebook post isn’t the worst in the world. Agreed. When Congresswoman Jahana Hayes had a Zoom listening session with Newtown constituents earlier this month and at least four people bombed it with terrible racial slurs, that was reprehensible. Stomach turning.
But we don’t have to rank injustices and speak out against only the worst.
In this election with many women running for office — including vice president of the country — there’s a responsibility to tell it like it is.
The number of women running for state office in Connecticut has been increasing. Two years ago saw the highest in what’s been a steady climb. In that 2018 election, 28 women ran for the 36 state Senate seats and 11 won (39.3 percent). In the House, 96 women were candidates for the 151 state representative seats and 52 won (54.2 percent). These numbers are from the Secretary of the State’s website with results going back to 1970. The numbers for this 2020 race are not calculated yet on the site.
But the Democratic women candidates Facebook group has 27 members, which tells me the upward trend is continuing.
Of the 52 women who won state House seats two years ago, Rebekah was not one of them. She lost to Mitch that time, barely. Of the 11,272 votes cast in Newtown, he won by 122. (Mitch: 5,697; Rebekah: 5,575)
Rebekah told me she’s been accused in this campaign of hating Newtown. That’s blatantly false. How could someone who’s served two terms on the Board of Education hate her town? Someone who was president of her son’s PTA when he was in elementary school (he’s now 15 and a freshman at Newtown High), someone who formed the My Sandy Hook Family Fund in response to the 2012 school shootings?
Within two weeks of announcing her candidacy back in February, she raised enough in small donations to qualify for the Citizens Election Program. Her background is fundraising. She started and sold a small company and now works in development at a nonprofit in Danbury. I’d say she’s qualified. Not just another “pretty face.”
Her life is full and rewarding. Why would she want to run for state office again?
“I love helping young people find their voice and power,” she said. To be a role model. To help other women. To speak up.