Reader with teen son needs help gaining confidence

Dear Annie: Lately, I have been feeling like I am not good enough. I have anxiety and depression, which I have had since I was young, to the point where I have attempted suicide four times. I used to have anorexia and bulimia and cut myself on my arms and legs. I

I have children now, and my son, at 14 years old, questions himself like I did — and do. I keep comparing myself to women, and not just women but my best friends, from their faces to their bodies. Even though I have been told I am beautiful, I never believe it. And it’s so hard sometimes because I don’t want my son to go down the same road as me. I keep thinking, what if I never learn to love myself and be confident? Will I teach him to be in the world without a voice, questioning everything he does? Will he believe he is not handsome and ruin his relationships, like I have? When I am depressed, I cry on and off all day; I can’t concentrate on anything and am constantly telling myself that I’m not worth it, that I’m not skinny enough, that I’m not beautiful because I don’t have long flowing hair. I don’t want to leave this earth not loving myself. I don’t want to leave this earth not teaching my babies that they are beautiful and that they deserve to be heard.

I know that the things I do affect them. In my mind, I am sure I can change it, but in my heart, I’m this little girl who felt unprotected and grew up being bullied and wearing glasses and the only thing I had going for me was that I was the smartest child in my class. How do you build confidence? Hurting

Dear Hurting: You should seek the help of a professional therapist as soon as possible. You are dealing with depression, low self-worth and what sounds like a continued eating disorder. None of these diseases is your fault, but you must get help.

As for building confidence, start with that you are a wise and caring mother who wants to be emotionally healthy for your children.

Soak that in. Appreciate all you have done to accomplish that.

Being an open-minded person willing to look at yourself, admit your mistakes and say you need help is a wonderful example to set for your children.