State GOP needs to stop running with scissors

Connecticut Republican chairman J.R. Romano has resigned to spend more time with his coven.

No. That is not true. I don’t know where J.R. is going or — now that I think of it — where he came from. He just appeared one day, kind of like Mrs. Baylock, the nanny who mysteriously shows up to look after Damien in “The Omen,” even though nobody can remember hiring her.

But enough of that kind of talk. I wish J.R. well. This is a time of healing.

Speaking of healing, the Republican Party in Connecticut has, for quite a few years now, been running with scissors. Growing up in the 1960s and ’70s, I beheld families where the parents, in the spirit of the counterculture, abjured all structure, discipline and behavior modeling.

The kids went feral, dividing into packs of the listless, the high, the ragefueled, the untameably weird.

That’s pretty much what has happened to Connecticut Republicans. Four years of a president, still seething with resentment over his long-ago potty training by a strict Scottish mum, did not help.

More Connecticut Republican (minor) office-holders reposted memes alleging that Kamala Harris advanced her career through acts of fellatio than meaningfully stood up for the results of a fair national election.

These children are like wild animals.

Let me tell you what the party’s Twitter account posted on Jan. 7. Remember, Jan. 6 was the day our U.S. Capitol was attacked and ransacked by hundreds of people seemingly bent on locating elected officials and doing them harm.

Jan. 6 will indubitably go down in history as one of America’s darkest days. On Jan. 7, the CTGOP posted “MAGA SALE! CTGOP PADFOLIO.” And there was a picture of an uglylooking gray thing, marked down from $60 to $45.

Let’s analyze the problems here. First, the day before, people in MAGA hats had run around the Capitol trying to smash through barricaded doors, rhetorically committed to hanging Mike Pence and doing Godknowswhat to Nancy Pelosi. Second, Jan. 7 was — ideally — a day or reflection among Republicans about whether or not to socially distance themselves from Trump’s insanity. Third, WTF is a padfolio?

Anticipating that very question from my brooding and saturnine editor John Breunig, I went on a site called Quality Logo Products and read a 600-word article titled “What are the Differences Between a Padfolio and a Portfolio?” And I emerged convinced that there is no earthly answer to that question.

The point is: there’s something a little tin-eared about pushing merch the day after followers of your leader damn near ripped the heart out of

Let me tell you what the party’s Twitter account posted on Jan. 7. Remember, Jan. 6 was the day our U.S. Capitol was attacked and ransacked by hundreds of people seemingly bent on locating elected officials and doing them harm.

American democracy.

Also, as my colleague Ken Dixon observed, the timing and the price cut make one think about going-out-ofbusiness sales.

The Day of New London suggested it’s time for a “rebrand” of Connecticut Republicans.

I love that idea. They should begin with a new theme song, sung to the tune of the theme from “The Greatest American Hero.”

“Believe it not, we stand for some things.

We never thought we were idea-free. Flying through space on conservative wings.

Who could it be?

Believe it’s the GOP!”

I know, right? You’re getting chills. I do these things and seek nothing in recompense.

You may find this hard to believe (see above), but I take no pleasure from the descent of the Connecticut Republican Party into a garbage-eating cult.

We need strong parties, with serious ideas.

When Trump took office, the Speaker of the House was one Paul Davis Ryan. This man had serious ideas. I knew what they were. I hated almost all of them, but I was, at least, prepared to discuss them with another rational human consciousness.

Those ideas were replaced — nationally and here in Connecticut — with “owning the libs.” Owning the libs is now the dominant philosophy of the Republican Party. Boiled down to its essence, it is Twister Sister’s “We’re Not Gonna Take It” dressed up as a political philosophy.

Remember how Trump kept saying he wanted to get rid of the Affordable Care Act and replace it with something bigger and better and beautiful? Only the first half of that statement was true. Therein lies the disease.

The party is afflicted by what F. Scott Fitzgerald called “a thinning padfolio of enthusiasm.”

What could the party be? There was a terrific article, “Failures of Leadership in a Populist Age,” in the National Review by Yuval Levin.

In one part of it, Levin outlines some possible goals: “to protect religious liberty, to lift some of the burdens weighing on Americans struggling to raise children, to push back against the radicalization of higher education, to take the threat of Chinese power more seriously, to help Americans yearning for meaningful economic security or more stable employment, to make more opportunities available to Americans who don’t go to college, to secure our borders and improve the immigration system, and in other ways to help more Americans lead dignified lives in a decent and prosperous free society.”

Holy cats! If that were the game plan, I could kind of almost sort of be a Republican.

Not out in public, of course. I have limits.

Colin McEnroe’s column appears every Sunday, his newsletter comes out every Thursday and you can hear his radio show every weekday on WNPR 90.5. Email him at colin@ctpublic.org. Sign up for his newsletter at http://bit.ly/colinmcenroe.

Michael Osbun