Partner shares secret with strangers

Dear Abby: I’m a gay man in my late 40s, partnered with a man in his late 50s. There are a lot of issues from my past that I try hard to move beyond and let go of. I was wrongly accused and convicted of a crime I didn’t commit, for which I was sentenced to life in prison.

I sat in prison seven years before I was able to prove my innocence and regain my freedom. Even then, I was forced to accept certain requirements to keep my freedom, regardless of being proven innocent. Unfortunately, I’m finding it difficult because my partner keeps sharing my story with people who are complete strangers to me. When they meet me, the first words out of their mouths are things like: “You poor man, I’m so sorry,” or “Wow, I can’t believe you went through that,” and “Man, you must be a strong person to have gotten through that.”

How do I move past this, if he keeps telling people a story that is NOT his to tell? The shame and embarrassment of facing this trauma of my past on a regular basis isn’t healthy for me. How can I get him to understand that he needs to stop doing it? I’m afraid to say anything to him about it. He dismisses my feelings most of the time when I bring up things he does that upset me. He was also my “first.” My love for him has only grown over the years, but this issue of my story being revealed has to stop.

Frustrated in the Midwest

Dear Frustrated: You not only have to speak up, but you also have to be heard. That your much older partner dismisses your feelings is controlling and condescending. He has no right to disclose VERY personal information about you with strangers. Couples counseling may save your relationship, but only if the balance of power is adjusted.

Dear Abby: I was friends with my guy before getting into a relationship seven years ago. The problem is, I feel like we are not growing. He is still living with his mom, we have no plans for the future, etc.

At least once a year, I ask him how he views our relationship, but I only get the same response that things are fine the way they are. I have now started back in college while maintaining a full-time job, but I’m so frustrated I feel like moving on. I’m stuck between a breakup and keeping a friendship. Any advice?

Uncertain in Alabama

Dear Uncertain: Of course your “guy” thinks things are fine the way they are. They are — for him. I’m delighted you decided to return to college and get your degree. By doing so, you are taking control of your life, which is moving in the right direction. Please understand that you may not only outgrow the relationship, but also this young man.

COLUMBUS, Ohio — Six more people linked to the farright Oath Keepers militia group have been indicted on charges that they planned and coordinated with one another in the attack on the U.S. Capitol, authorities said Friday.

The case against those affiliated with the Oath Keepers is the largest conspiracy case brought by the U.S. Justice Department so far in the Jan. 6 insurrection. The six new people arrested this week are indicted alongside three others who were charged last month with plotting to undo President Joe Biden’s victory.

Authorities say the defendants prepared for weeks ahead of the attack, attended training sessions and recruited others. They donned tactical vests and helmets, moved in an organized fashion as they advanced on the Capitol and communicated with one another during the siege, prosecutors say. Several defendants formed a “stack” formation used by military infantrymen, marching the Capitol steps with their hand on the shoulder of the person in front of them, authorities said.

The new arrests include an Ohio couple, Sandra and Bennie Parker. The others facing charges are: Graydon Young of Englewood, Fla., Kelly Meggs and Connie Meggs, both of Dunnellon, Fla., and Laura Steele of Thomasville, N.C.

Kelly Meggs, who authorities say is the leader of the Florida chapter of the Oath Keepers, wrote in a Facebook message in December: “Trump said It’s gonna be wild !!!!!!! It’s gonna be wild !!!!!!! He wants us to make it WILD that’s what he’s saying. He called us all to the Capitol and wants us to make it wild!!!,“according to court documents.

About a week later, authorities say Young reached out to a company that does firearms and combat training about a rifle class for four people, according to the indictment.

Authorities say Bennie Parker was in contact with an Oath Keepers member who was arrested last month, Jessica Watkins, leading up to the trip to Washington, discussing things like the uniforms and gear they would bring on Jan. 6. Authorities say Sandra Parker entered the Capitol while her husband stayed in contact outside.

On Jan. 9, Watkins told Bennie Parker by text she thought the FBI was only interested in people “who destroyed things,” according to the complaint.

Another man charged last month in the case, Thomas Caldwell, suggested getting a boat to ferry “heavy weapons” across the Potomac River, authorities have said. Caldwell’s lawyer has called the indictment “imaginative.”

To date, federal charges have been filed in more than 200 cases involving the attack by a mob of supporters of former President Donald Trump, including many with ties to far right groups like the Oath Keepers. Several members of the Proud Boys, a far-right, malechauvinist extremist group that seized on the Trump administration’s policies, have also been charged with conspiracy and accused of working together during the siege.