Younger generations passing on heirlooms as parents are downsizing
For the first time in our history, two generations are downsizing simultaneously in American culture.
The Baby Boomers and their parents are both coming into life situations that warrant smaller, more manageable homes. Baby Boomers are a demographic finding themselves in an increasing financial sandwich as many Boomers are not only paying for college tuition and supporting grown children but also caring for aging parents as well as stashing away their own retirement savings. Many Boomers have begun to look into downsizing and minimizing living expenses in the same timing as their aging parents.
During the downsizing clean out, many people find that the treasured family heirlooms passed down from generation to generation no longer have a place in their children’s homes. For centuries, it seems, adult children have carried with them the possessions of previous generations, whether they wanted them or not. In a new turn, the GenX and Millennial age groups are continually embracing a “no-clutter” philosophy leaving Hummel collections, sterling silver tea sets and coordinated dining room furniture to be auctioned off or even sold/given away at yard sales and consignment stores.
For a generation that held onto the knick-knacks and sentimental possessions of their forefathers, many Boomers find the switch surprising and a hard pill to swallow. For example, Pat Fryzel, a retired nurse practitioner, stored her children’s memorabilia, as well as that of her grandmother, for over 30 years. When she and her husband decided to downsize to a quaint Boston townhome, she asked her grown children to come collect items they wanted to keep. To her surprise, she wasn’t met with much excitement.
“Take a picture and text it to us,” she recalls her children saying. The vintage doll collection and Grandma’s cake plates would have no place in the next generation’s home.
A newly thriving industry, ‘Senior Move Management,’ assists not only those downsizing but also their children as they help soften the blow of telling the previous generation they won’t be taking much of the family heirlooms. Half moving assistant, half family buffer or therapist, these specialists have found a consistent theme of neither Boomers nor their children having the room or desire to store family keepsakes.
“We can help to soften the blow if the kids don’t want any-
thing but are afraid to tell their parents,” said Kate Grondin, founder of a Andover-and Dedham-based Home Transition Resource. “We can shift the focus to how wonderful a donation would be.”
The real challenge is emotional, as the homes Boomers and their parents are leaving are often steeped in memories, along with its contents. Furniture passed down through generations is often too bulky or out of style for the next generation and volumes of books and artwork and mass produced collections no longer find honored space. For many people, taking these long-loved collections to a consignment shop or watching garage sale patrons rifle through them feels wrong. It can almost be a burden of some kind, carrying emotional connection to our possessions. Separating this connection is a necessary, and yet, it can be a highly emotional process.
Our best tip? Parents talk about it with your kids and kids likewise with your parents. Work through items that will be passed on and those that will be sold or given away before you choose to downsize and are in the midst of chaos. The downsizing phase of life can actually be exciting and freeing after you work through the nitty gritty details. Embracing each stage of life is a blessing and Boomers are coming into a really incredible life phase.