Having ‘The Talk’ with Dad and Mom

Supportive senior housing may be just what the doctor ordered

Father’s Day is wonderful times to remind your father — and mother — how much you love them, to spend time with family and friends and connect with those most important in your life.

While this holiday is typically joyful, it can also spark concern among adult children for aging parents, questioning whether or not Dad or Mom — or both —should no longer be living alone.

If you think the time has come to consider a new living arrangement, it probably has. And, it might be time for “The Talk.”

Here are some things to keep an eye on and tips for having a positive and supportive conversation with Mom and Dad about what should be an aspirational move — one to which they look forward — resulting in more personal fulfillment and added enjoyment to their years.

Notice Visual Clues

Is mail piling up? Are bills past due? Are there rooms in the house in disrepair that are typically neat and orderly? Is the car dinged or — the opposite — getting dusty?

These may be signs that the demands of maintaining their home are becoming overwhelming for your loved ones.

Listen Closely

Are your parents talking more and more about friends who have passed away? This is a common expression of loneliness, and your parents may be feeling isolated and alone.

Ask Questions

“Mom, when was the last time you played bridge with …?” “Dad, do you still have lunch with …?”

Find out how much social interaction your parents are getting and if they are moving around.

Take Notice

Is personal hygiene becoming an issue? Your loved one may be embarrassed that he or she is now having trouble taking care of these activities of daily living.

If you notice these visual and verbal queues, it may be time to find a better living situation for Mom and Dad. Most importantly, don’t wait until a crisis necessitates a move.

Educate Yourself

Help with the preliminary legwork. Visit communities without Mom and Dad and become educated on what options are available. The best way to do this is to take a tour and meet with staff in person. Any good senior community will help you learn. Then, when the time is right, show Mom and Dad the best of the best.

Be Positive and Communicate

This is an aspirational move — one that help achieve a desired lifestyle. Today’s supportive senior living is far from the image of a nursing home that may be fixed in Mom’s and Dad’s minds. Think of a cruise ship with a team of wellness professionals on board at your beck and call — an environment that is active and fun and leads to better health and longer, more engaged lives.

Your parents will have more freedom and independence than ever to enjoy life — enjoying meals, playing cards, becoming immersed in new experiences, having relaxed conversations with other residents whose friendships they’ll cherish for years to come.

At our communities, we entertained thousands of seniors last year and regularly welcome loved ones who stop by for a beer with Mom or Dad after work. Does that sound like a nursing home?

Think of it this way; isolation is “the new smoking,” leading to declines in mental and physical health and increased risk for dementia, all of which threaten independence. Powerful facts will help to get your point across, and studies show a sedentary lifestyle does more to harm a person’s health than sugar and salt, and social isolation is as dangerous as heart disease.

You can provide just the help your parents need to make a decision that will lead to a more engaged lifestyle that supports their independence.