This is a column about death, but don’t worry, be happy
“I don’t want to die,” my 6-year-old daughter said from the back seat.
I was about to get into a pickle here. I was driving with my two girls (the other one is 3 years old) to pick up my wife and son at the train station. They had gone to New York for the day - boy’s first time in, Empire State Building, Times Square, etc. - when I heard my 6-year-old jabbering on about nothing but it ended with her saying, “and I told him he can never die.”
She was referring to her friend, and I said, “OK sure,” and that’s when she said “I don’t want to die.”
Heavy stuff. So I answered light: “Don’t worry about it. You’re not dying.” See how I phrased it? Like it was present tense. So not technically a lie. She was not dying at that moment. Well, I mean, she was - aren’t we all? - but not immediately. Parenting win, right?
Should’ve quit while I was ahead. “Nobody’s dying,” I said. “Sparky died,” she replied, referring to our first dog, who died when she was two.
“Um, yes, Sparky did die. But that’s OK. Because, uh, everything dies. Grass, trees, you know, everything.”
This caused all-too-predictable upset.
“I don’t want to be dead,” my 3-year-old said.
Well crap. How the hell did I get into this? This was not scripted. It was 7:30 at night. They were already in their pajamas. Day should’ve been done, instead I’ve got a crisis of existential proportions on my hands. I was about to launch into a paean to life itself when ...
“Who am I going to be when I’m old and yucky?” my 3-year-old then asked.
“You’re going to be you, sweetheart, you’re always going to be you,” I said.
“Oh,” she said, satisfied with that.
And that was that. Death left the building.
But I was left with my last words, the “you’re always going to be you” part. Sometimes I’ll accidentally profound myself (you know what I mean) and this was one of those times. I’m always going to be me. I was me today, and I’ll be me tomorrow and every day thereafter until I’m (hopefully) old and yucky and getting ready to meet ol’ Sparky again, the growling little bastard.
And while “I am me” is about as un-profound as it gets, I looked in the rearview mirror and saw my girls. Just like me, they are a “me.” And this me is half in charge in making sure their me’s grow up to be happy, well-adjusted adults who, for one thing, don’t agonize over things they don’t have any control over. Like death.
“We’re all going to die girls,” I said. “You’re going to die, I’m going to die, your mom is going die, grandma and grandpa are going to die, your friends are going to die, everyone. Dead. But that doesn’t matter. What matters is now, and every now thereafter. What matters is living each day, cherishing every moment, even the bad moments. Because yes, there will be bad moments. But we’re resilient creatures, and we carry on. LIfe is short - believe me. I’m 45 years old. I’m almost certainly more than half-done. It’s scary to contemplate, but that’s exactly it! There should be no contemplation! What’s there to contemplate? It’s a foregone conclusion! It ends. The book closes. No sense worrying about it. So use that knowledge! We know how it ends; but how we get there, oh, that’s the joy! Live girls! Run, jump, breathe, repeat! Just live!”
OK fine I didn’t say that — in fact I turned up the radio and kept my mouth shut for the remainder of the ride — but I’m clipping that paragraph and putting it in my wallet. We’re going to have quite a conversation in 10 years. street and a parking garage less than a hundred yards away from the theater. Movies are free and you can bring your own snacks. Water and juice will be available for purchase. For more information and to reserve your seats please send an email to centretheater@gmail.com.
NEW BEGINNINGS
First Wednesday of each month : NEW BEGINNINGS is an organization formed to afford anyone,who is widowed, the opportunity to associate with people from similar circumstances, in a supportive environment through activities, events and friendship. Meetings are usually held from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. at St. Helena’s Parish, 1489 DeKalb Pike, Blue Bell on the first Wednesday of each month,except March, June, July and August. If you have any questions, please contact Betty Fiorani at 610-650-9133.
LITERACY COUNCIL
TUTORING: Are you an adult needing help with reading, writing, math, GED preparation or English language skills? The Literacy Council of Norristown offers instruction at little or no cost. For details, call 610-292-8515 or visit our website: www. LcnLit.org.
MONTGOMERY COUNTY NORRISTOWN PUBLIC LIBRARY
Montgomery County-Norristown Public Library, 001 Powell St., Norristown, PA 19401. Contact: 610-2785100.
SUMMER READING CLUB
Through Aug. 19: Win prizes for reading! Pick up a summer reading log in the Children’s Department and keep track of the minutes you read. For every two hours you read or have been read to, you win a free book and a chance to win a bicycle or a $50 Barnes & Noble gift certificate. (Maximum 10 free books per child.) First 100 people to check in their logs get a t-shirt! For children ages 0-12.