Truth be told, words are hard to come by

Communicating by telephone has become a lost art in today’s business world.

The Greatest Lie. For many years in American life, the greatest lie was, “The check is in the mail.”

Shady business owners who wanted to avoid paying a bill on time … or were attempting to avoid paying altogether … used the ploy often.

Today, less bill-paying is done through the mail. Instead, those trying to secure payment hear lines such as, “The payment is in the system. We are doing an accounts payable clearing on Friday and your invoice will be handled then.”

In other words, “The check is in the mail.”

As annoying as that practice is, it is being passed on the list of Greatest Lies by a more common modern occurrence.

To illustrate, here is a personal anecdote.

An unusually busy week resulted in a long list of calls that had to be made – all business related. The office schedule was crammed, not allowing time for proper communication. But a long trip via auto was on the near horizon.

First, a double-check was made to ensure all contacts were in the smart phone – allowing safe, hands-free communication during the drive. Voice commands initiated all calls. A total of 11 calls were on the list.

Once on the highway, the chore of trying to make all of the contacts began. First one – voicemail. Second one – voicemail. Third one – well, by now you can guess where the story is going.

As they would say in baseball parlance (usually describing one of Phillies third baseman Maikel Franco’s slumps), 0-for-11. Total connections -- zip, zero, nada.

In today’s office world, nobody wants to talk – communicate – converse – or have any type of traditional human interaction on the telephone. The desk phone has become a fancy paperweight.

In fact, a number of years ago, the PGA of America – the governing and supposedly educational organization for professional golfers at the club level – put out a “helpful guide.”

It suggested that professionals at busy clubs should never answer the telephone. Instead, they should let all calls go to voicemail, so that they could review them and only answer the ones that were most necessary.

And, unfortunately, many pros followed that suggestion.

Today, in the business world, phone calls fall far behind almost all other modes of communication – such as e-mail, texting, Linkedin, Facebook messaging or, in some rather scary cases, twitter.

Yet, the telephone still sits on every desk, in every office, at every company across the United States.

And, in most cases, it rings often.

Callers keep trying to reach business contacts via phone. Ring, ring, ring, ring … then voicemail.

And that’s when we hear what has become the Greatest Lie in America today: “I’m sorry I was unable to take your call, but

please leave your name and a short message and I will get back to you as soon as possible.”

In many cases that return call will come right after the following occurrences:

1. All potholes are repaired.

2. The Cleveland Browns win a Super Bowl.

3. Construction on the Northeast Extension of the Pennsylvania Turnpike is finally completed.

4. They learn how to make a healthy cheesesteak.

5. Somebody (a certain millionaire-to-be) invents the erasable tattoo. 6. Hell freezes over. If this happens to be an unfair assessment of today’s modern business practices … or if any readers feel compelled to comment on this subject … feel free to call my office.

If I am unable to take your call, please leave a message and – I promise – I will get back to you as soon as possible.