Tragedy shows need for awareness

What took place before dawn along the normally quiet Creeks Edge Road in Oley Township July 9 was tragic and shocking.

A woman, 62-year-old Joy Strunk, was gunned down by her wheelchair-bound husband, who also set their 19th century farmhouse ablaze. As firefighters arrived to fight the flames, the husband, 62-year-old Stefan Strunk, turned a gun on himself, committing suicide.

It was a stunning act of violence that has shaken a bucolic piece of Berks County.

But it’s by no means an isolated incident.

According to police, Stefan Strunk had a history of abusive behavior toward his wife. Relatives and coworkers of Joy Strunk

said the couple, together since high school, had a contentious relationship and often fought about his controlling behavior and verbal abuse.

That abuse turned fatal Tuesday during a turn of events Francine M. Scoboria said takes place more than most people realize. Scoboria, communications coordinator for SafeBerks, said Joy Strunk was the 61st person in Berks County to be killed as a result of domestic abuse since 1999.

Across Pennsylvania, she added, there were 1,168 domestic violence murders during that span. There were 122 in the state just last year.

“This tragic crime does not stand alone,” Scoboria said. “Unfortunately, this is way too common. And even one person being killed is too many.”

Scoboria said Joy Strunk’s murder should sound alarm bells for the community, and should be a call to arms to address a problem that has existed and persisted since the beginning of humankind.

“We really need an open and honest discussion about domestic violence to prevent the next person being killed,” she said, saying movements like Me Too and Time’s Up show that may finally be happening. “People are realizing we need to speak about these things as loudly as possible.”

Scoboria said that for too long people have made the error of looking at domestic abuse as a personal, private problem.

“This is a community problem,” she said. “This is everyone’s problem. We really need everyone’s help to address it and solve it.”

As a way to move the discussion forward, SafeBerks, which was formerly known as Berks Women in Crisis, has provided some information about domestic abuse.

Signs of domestic abuse

Scoboria said it is often difficult for victims of domestic abuse to acknowledge they’re actually victims. Some common indicators include:

• Name calling or demeaning comments.

• Someone that seems too good to be true early in a relationship; the relationship may advance very quickly.

• Frequent phone calls or texts.

• Threatens to harm or kill you, your pets or family members.

• Blames you for the abusive behavior; does not take responsibility for actions.

• Prevents you from spending time with family or friends and from enjoying hobbies and other activities.

• Damages your credit by exceeding limits or purposely not paying bills. They may restrict your access to financial resources.

It can also be difficult to see when someone else is a victim of domestic abuse, Scoboria said. Some warning signs that someone is suffering abuse include:

• Their partner puts them down in front of other people.

• They are constantly worried about making their partner angry.

• They make excuses for their partner’s behavior.

• Their partner is extremely jealous or possessive.

• They have unexplained marks or injuries.

• They’ve stopped spending time with friends and family.

• They are depressed or anxious, or you notice changes in their personality.

Safety planning

When someone is a victim of domestic abuse, leaving the situation can be difficult. Scoboria said often times the point at which a victim leaves is the most dangerous, with emotions running high and acts of desperation likely.

Scoboria said victims should have a plan in place in case an incident turns explosive. Considerations should include:

• If an argument is unavoidable, stay in an area where you have access to an exit.

• Practice getting out of your home safely.

• Keep a packed bag at a trusted relative’s or friend’s home.

• Tell trustworthy neighbors about the violence. Ask them to call the police if they hear or see any disturbance.

• Devise a code word or signal to use with your children, family, friends, and trustworthy neighbors when you need the police.

• Plan where you will go if you have to leave.

• Trust your instincts and judgment. You have the right to protect yourself until you are out of danger.

Scoboria said victims should also have a plan in place for when they decide to leave. Some tips for creating a plan include:

• Establish your independence. Open savings and credit card accounts in your name only.

• Leave money, extra keys, copies of important documents, extra medicine and clothes with someone you trust so you can leave quickly.

• Determine safe people you can stay with or borrow money from.

• Keep hotline phone numbers and change, a calling card, or a safety cellphone on you at all times for emergency phone calls. Most crisis lines do accept collect calls and 9-1-1 is free.

• Review and rehearse your safety plan.

If a victim isn’t leaving but an abuser is, Scoboria said there are some steps to take to ensure safety including:

• If possible, obtain a protection from abuse order.

• Change the locks on your doors. Landlords are legally obligated to change locks within 24 hours if you are experiencing domestic violence.

• Install locks on your windows.

• Discuss and practice a safety plan with your children for when you are not with them.

• Inform your children’s schools or caregivers who has permission to pick up your children.

• Inform your neighbors and landlord that your partner no longer lives with you and to call the police if they see him or her near your home.