Grands Stepping Up
New group offers support, helping hands to grandparents raising grandchildren amid opioid crisis
Want more proof of just how bad the scourge of opioid abuse has become? Meet Grands Stepping Up, a new organization formed to help grandparents who find themselves overwhelmed and raising their grandchildren after the kids’ parents have fallen victim to opioid addiction.
Only a few weeks old, the nonprofit group is planning a kickoff event 1-3 p.m. Saturday, March 7 at St. Mark’s United Methodist Church , 2220 Sproul Road, Broomall. Grandparents raising grandchildren and others can get more information about the new organization in Delaware County, what it offers, and the opportunities available to help the group move forward with sponsorships and volunteering.
Founded by Karen Barnes of Drexel Hill, the local charity’s foremost mission is to assist grandparents and other family guardians in Delaware County, who are raising their grandchildren. Although the largest majority of grandparents in the group found themselves in the sudden role of surrogate parents because of their own children’s inability to raise their children due to drug addiction, another segment of grandparents are raising grandchildren because of their children’s alcoholism, incarceration, mental health issues, death, or illness.
No matter what the reason, grandparents who suddenly find themselves in the role of parent to their grandchildren, often come to fill this role after experiencing an emotional, often chaotic, relationship with their own child, one likely dealing with addiction or mental illness or a chronic illness.
The unique role of grandparents raising grandchildren saw an enormous spike in recent years as the opioid crisis continues to plague families everywhere. A recent statistic by Family and Community Service of Delaware County estimates that there’s now about 5 percent of American families consisting of a grandparent raising a grandchild, primarily due to drug addiction or mental illness. According to a recent report from the Pennsylvania House of Representatives, “Over 90,000 Pennsylvanian grandparents are responsible for the basic needs of one or more grandchildren under the age of 18. These grandparents are caring for approximately 195,000 children, which is 7.5 percent of all children in the state. Over 20 percent of these grandparents are living below the poverty level.” In 2018, Pennsylvania’s House Children and Youth Committee held a hearing on the issue, with estimates showing that Pennsylvania grandparents are saving the state at least an estimated $1 billion per year by keeping their grandchildren out of the foster care system.
Barnes, a mother of five daughters, has been in the role of raising her grandchildren for more than half of a decade. When her fourth child became addicted to opioids and alcohol at 16 and had a baby at 17, Barnes’ life radically changed. It wasn’t long after the baby’s birth when her daughter took off and left the grandmother with the infant.
Barnes, who eventually adopted her now-7-yearold granddaughter, is fortunate to say her daughter is presently recovered and
doing well. Not all grandparents are so lucky. However, in more recent years, her other daughter became seriously ill and she again had to step into the role of raising two other grandchildren, ages 1 and 3.
Most of the grandparents aren’t as vocal as Barnes, and are reluctant to speak on the record. Some are afraid to ruffle feathers of their unstable children, or they feel stigmatized or embarrassed by their family situation so they don’t want their names published. Barnes said, what’s sad, is that many struggling grandparents are either too embarrassed to ask for help or are too busy with the day-to-day demands of raising their grandchildren to reach out for support.
“It’s hard to advocate for what’s needed or attend meetings when you are overwhelmed and struggling each day to be there for your grandchildren and meet their basic needs,”
Barnes said understandingly.
One grandmother, 66, in the group has full guardianship of two grandsons, ages 15 and 10. A widow who has been on disability for many years, she was living in Secane with one of her six daughters and sonin-law in 2018, when she got a phone call from the State of Delaware’s Children and Youth Services that she had to pick up her grandsons, the children of another daughter, or they would be placed in foster care. The boys, who were victims of their parents’ drug addiction and abuse, have been with her ever since.
Because she lives in a household with her daughter and son-in-law, she has been turned down for all aid because the income of the entire household, not just of her and the boys, is viewed as above the poverty line. Yet, she is unable to afford to move or buy basic essentials. The boys have behavioral issues after suffering physical and mental trauma from their former living situation.
“I have so many roadblocks, I just want to scream and cry,” she explained in desperation. “The actions of my grandsons’ parents have put me in this situation. I need to move out of my one daughter’s house, but I cannot find housing that I can afford for me and my two grandsons. I never envisioned that my life would be like this, but my grandsons deserve the best quality of life that I can give them so I keep persevering.”
Another grandmother, a resident of Wallingford, who also didn’t want her name published, dabs at her eyes, as she tells the story of her daughter, and why she and her husband are raising three of her daughter’s four children.
“The children have been extremely compromised,” she said in a choked-up voice. “They want to be with their parents but they can’t. It’s a heartbreak no matter how you look at it. The trauma part is just as big as the financial struggle. We go to bed at night, but we rarely sleep.”
The grandmother, 67, said she was ready to retire a few years ago, but now she cannot. Everything she makes, she said, goes into raising the grandchildren. She worries because her daughter can come take back her children at any time, whether she is stable or not. The couple does not have any legal custody because, not only is it too expensive to obtain, but they just don’t have the heart to legally take custody away from the daughter they love. The children, who suffer from trauma, ADHD and behavioral issues, have different fathers, one of
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