FOCUS HUMOR

A penguin, all dressed in his suit Lacks some things to look astute A bow tie and spats

One of those top hats

Would make him look thoroughly cute. – Penny Beaulieu

I have a small doggy named Ted Who sleeps at the head of my bed But since he's been told

That my feet get real cold

Now he sleeps at the bottom instead. – Amie Montgomery

Coco's the cat that used to be chunky Other cats still thought he was hunky I put him on a diet

Now he can't keep quiet

He obsessively meows like a food junkie. – Hannah Lake

The perfect pet must be the flea I love to bounce mine on my knee Oh! He squeals with glee

But is “he” a “she”?

I must admit, it's hard to see. – Craig Wheeler

There once was a tabby named Caesar Never much of a people pleaser He'd sleep on his tail Then wake up with a wail That his tail blamed him as the squeezer. – Lauren Clark

I always wanted to own a pet dragon So I started beggin', pleading and naggin' Mama resisted

Even though I persisted

But yay! There's a new dog in my wagon! – Sue Welfringer

A canine pet sure does the trick They cuddle, they play and they lick A good walk by the bay

With “social distance” they say

The whole point is not to get sick. – Cathy Jensen (part of a longer poem)

There once was a fellow named Lou Who worked at a big city zoo When feeding the lion

He thought was just sighing

Now they're looking for somebody new. – Earl Thomas

My pet is Spot The Giraffe

Her super-sized neck makes me laugh I don't worry about trees

She trims all of these

And reduces my yard work by half! – Patricia Dewald

Of our fish – of all five – we are fond At each feeding, we strengthen the bond They don't panic at flu

But they're glad that we do

And now know what it's like in a pond. – Portly Bard

Here I wait avoiding the plague My BFF Rover drooling on my leg I'm trying not to shout

We just want out huddled by the door we beg. – Nancy Spencer

There were thousands of submissions and I tried my best to keep on top of them. I got letters and emails from all over the country, a few from overseas and from inmates. I am so grateful for your humor and creativity. Many great ideas and poems were about being self-isolated and COVID-19, but the competition rules were for humorous poems about pets or animals because April was Humor, Poetry and Pet month wrapped into one. I wish we had a book filled with all your great work to sell, with the proceeds going to first responders during this mess. But, my time and duties for this news organization keep me busy with many other endeavors. I think we all win a little when we take time to be creative. I know it was a pleasure to read and laugh along with your submissions. Thanks again. There's only so much space on a print page. Remember, if your poem is not listed and you think you were robbed, you're probably right! There could have been a hundred times more winners. National Limerick Day is May 12! Flamingos are pink, as you know They like to put on quite a show While the crowd ahs and ohs They return to their pose And continue to preen, head to toe. – Joanne Clem Two eagles on YouTube are free They've built a huge nest we can see They bring up large sticks If they stick to their tricks They're liable to topple the tree. – Alan Cook There once was a dragon named Cyrus He was most afraid of the virus He puffed and he roared Through the sky he soared His jewel-adorned mask was priceless. – Debby Johnson Kitty likes her coat all clean But, I am under quarantine So, upon her couch I lie Her chairs I occupy It's my hair, Kitty must preen. – Joann Adams A girl from Long Island was bitter Her birdy on Facebook had quit her But said her canary “Social media's scary — I'm just sticking to my own twitter.” – Bob Niccum My poor puppy is lately confused For his training is going unused I taught him to shake That was a mistake Because handshakes must now be refused. – Craig D. Hardwick A piglet named Sven was quite pink ‘Cause each day he got a bath in the sink He'd soak off the mud And all other crud All the while he was sipping a drink – Kelly Beuth Stuck in this COVID disaster Tried to make the time move faster Found a small kitten And I was smitten But this cat thinks he's MY master! – Maureen de Koff I talk to my fish but he is not keen Listening to me complain of my routine He would rather swim Than hear me talk to him Welcome to life with COVID-19! – Daryn Desai Our home has four furry rescues From two species we got to choose When the dogs get a treat The cats come to eat After eating they all take a snooze. – Vicki Reese He's just a neighborhood cat Home is where food is at He's friendly enough If you're serving good stuff But after he's done, that's that. – Toni Donart I once had my social scene Then along came COVID-19 Now I'm in a rural dump And I feel like a chump But at least my cats are serene. – Art Hirst Tabby bites when she's feeling crabby Twenty pounds of furry and flabby She curls on your lap For a warm purring nap You're soon passed out with Dear Abby. – Diane Dorman A bat for a pet is obscene It carries a critter unseen A dog or a cat Is better than that They all have had a vaccine. – W. Clyde Barton As we shelter inside from this virus Our dogs pad around to admire us They're in a good mood (As long as there's food) Their spirit should really inspire us. – David Crohn (part of a longer limerick) I dream of owning a hedgehog Who'd eat grubs from under a log But alas he'd have spikes I'd touch him and say, yikes! Instead I'll just get a pet dog. – Katie Clark There once was a dog named Marty His appetite was quite hearty He sure liked to schmooze And chew on some shoes He was the life of the party. – Joan Bergeron Our beagle is from Tennessee A puppy mill rescue was he From chicken coop living To beds quite forgiving Orange County's where he'd rather be! – Lynn Mickadeit (from a longer poem)