Faith Matters: Waiting well together
2020has been a year that will be remembered for a multitude of reasons, most of which do not leave one feeling warm and fuzzy.
2020 has been a year that will be remembered for a multitude of reasons, most of which do not leave one feeling warm and fuzzy. Eager to leave this year behind, the lament I hear often is “I’m over it!” Although you may have had your fill of waiting, and are ready to move forward full speed ahead, learning to wait well together is crucial if there are to be better days in the future. This is the message I hear when I read the familiar parable of the ten bridesmaids, found in Matthew 25. Right up front, I will confess, I have always been a bit troubled by the details of this parable, as well as by the conclusions to which many come after reading it.
As the parable unfolds, five bridesmaids are deemed wise because they packed extra oil for their lamps as they waited for the bridegroom to arrive, and five are deemed foolish because they failed to prepare for the eventuality that the bridegroom might be late . . . which he was. In fact, so late was he that all ten young women fell asleep waiting for him! When word came that he was finally within sight, the women had to wipe the sleep from their eyes, tend their lamps, and be ready to greet him with smiling faces. When the five foolish bridesmaids asked the wise ones to share their oil, the wise ones refused. Meanwhile, the bridegroom arrived, everyone went inside to celebrate, and when the five foolish bridesmaids showed up late because they had to go and find oil for their lamps, they were denied entry to the party. The bridegroom’s seemingly heartless response: “I do not know you.” Ouch!
Why do the unprepared bridesmaids shoulder all the blame? What about the bridegroom who faced no consequences for his lateness or for leaving ten young women alone in the dark of night? The bridesmaids waited for him, but he refused to wait for the five who went to buy oil for their lamps. Not to mention the fact that the supposedly wise bridesmaids got no flack for their unwillingness to share. It would be easy to conclude that our invitation to the Kingdom of God hinges on hoarding supplies and prioritizing self-preservation over the collective good — something, unfortunately, we have seen during this pandemic.
As I search for meaning in this parable, I find it most helpful to focus on the five bridesmaids who are identified as foolish, or as I am inclined to describe them, as human. How are we like them? What can we learn from them? As best I can discern, they were condemned because they did not store up for themselves the necessary reserves that would have enabled them to respond when God called them to do so. How are we focusing our time and energy these days? Will we be ready to respond when God shows up, whether it is in the stranger with whom we cross paths, in the neighbor who needs a helping hand, or in the little one who has no voice or choice?
I am persuaded that this story would have ended differently if the bridesmaids had waited well together, helping each other prepare long before the bridegroom arrived. A Russian proverb reminds us that the future belongs to those who know how to wait — emphasis on how. Waiting is a reality of life; whether we wait well is a choice. If we refuse to wait well, things will not end well. If we insist upon moving forward with little concern for those around us, we will likely discover the truth of the Pennsylvania German saying, “The hurrier we go, the behind-er we get!” When we make bad choices, we miss out on the party — on the good things — God has in store for us. May we choose well, reflecting the compassion of Christ in our decisions. May we prepare well, not waiting until the eleventh hour to live in ways that honor our Creator; and may we wait well together, recognizing that our very lives depend on doing so — with God’s help.