JUST IN CASE THE SPLITS ARE BAD

The Senior Life Master was happy. He had had a strong feeling that the Powerball number would be 13. He put that on all 10 of his tickets and had won several hundred dollars.

Giving a friend an Andrew Jackson, he said, “Buy yourself a drink and bring me the change.”

When the man returned carrying a glass of wine, he was given a piece of paper containing today’s diagram.

Many years ago (began the SLM), my brother, Nathaniel, was an avid bridge player. Also, he had his eye on Alita Hatt, a beautiful English girl and strong player. They partnered each other one evening in this club. They were opposing my partner and me when that deal arose.

After an exciting auction in which Nathaniel was more worried about missing a grand slam than going down in six spades, I led the diamond king. Nathaniel won with dummy’s ace and drew one round of trumps, getting the bad news. He cashed the club queen before turning his attention to hearts. But my partner ruffed the second round and returned his second diamond. Nathaniel couldn’t avoid the loss of another trick.

“How unlucky,” he wailed. “Why should East be short in hearts?”

“But you should have made it,” replied Alita.

“Yes,” I chipped in. “You should have ruffed dummy’s diamond jack at trick two. Then you cash one trump, unblock the club queen and start the hearts. When my partner ruffs, he has to give dummy the lead. Both of your low hearts disappear on the club ace-king.”

Alita and I were married a year later. My brother refused to come to the wedding.