Paul Cullen going forward with joy in life
Fairfield resident lost wife Pamela to dementia last year but discovered daughter
For Paul Cullen of Fairfield, a resident of The Village at Rancho Solano, the latest chapter of his life story is a mixture of intense sadness, a surprising discovery and, finally, joy.
In a telephone interview last week, the 76-year-old retired Marin County landscape contractor told a tale of living in assisted care for the past eight months, during which time he lost his wife of 44 years, Pamela, to the ravages of dementia on Sept. 20.
But before she died he learned that he had a daughter, also named Pamela, whom he knew nothing about until her half-sisters “went looking for her” on ancestry.com, the online genealogy company.
“That’s how it all started,” said Cullen, who moved to The Village in June because his wife was in memory care there.
A congenial-sounding man who speaks with a somewhat incredulous tone that matches his story, he said he relocated from San Anselmo to Fairfield to be near his 73-yearold wife.
“When I got up here, she lasted about three weeks,” then moved to a private home about a five-minute drive away and, under hospice care, continued to live for about two more months, advised Cullen.
Meanwhile he discovered his daughter ,whose two half-sisters, sharing the same birth mother, found one another online.
His daughter was the product of a one-night liai
son — he was 19, his friend was 18 — and Cullen never saw her again.
“She got pregnant and I didn’t know this,” he said, adding that her family sent her to a home for unwed mothers in the early 1960s.
“She had her baby and it was adopted (by Annabelle Cluff and her husband) when it was 1 day old,” said Cullen. “It was my daughter and I didn’t even know she existed.”
Today, Pamela Ferguson, 55, an Army nurse who retired as a lieutenant colonel, is a hospital administrator in Bend, Ore., and has her own daughter, McKenzie.
“She did very well for herself,” Cullen said of his
daughter. “I’m very proud of her.” Ferguson served in Iraq and South Korea, earned an MBA at Baylor University and her “specialty” is taking care of abandoned children, taking them to the United States and placing them with families.”
After the half-sisters’ reunion through the online search, “They went looking for the father” of Pamela Ferguson’s father, discovered Cullen’s brother, Gary Cullen, the owner of Cullen’s Tavern on First Street in Benicia, he said.
Interestingly, one of the half-sisters owned a beauty salon, also on First Street, but apparently did not know Gary.
“They found him because his DNA matched, but his age wasn’t right and then found out he had a brother.
“So my daughter contacted
Gary and said, ‘I think you’re my uncle and I think your brother is my father,’ ” recalled Cullen.
No surprise, Cullen’s brother then “took me out to lunch and said, ‘Paul, I’ve got some news for you: You have a daughter,’” he said, adding that the family decided to hold a reunion shortly afterward at Cullen’s Tavern.
Cullen paused for a second or two, then said this latest chapter in his life could be summarized in this way: “They took away my Pamela, and God gave me a new Pamela.”
“My wife passed away, but I speak to my daughter every week,” he continued, sounding more cheerful than sad. “I spent all Christmas vacation in Bend, Ore. I met my new son-in-law and spent time with my granddaughter”
and with Pamela’s adoptive mother.
Of Annabelle, 89 and a resident of Sun City, Ariz., he said, “We’re best friends. Annabelle and I are buddies now.”
These latest developments, added Cullen, has been “one of the most wonderful things of my life. My wife and I never had children. I’m 76 years old. To know I have a daughter and a granddaughter is wonderful.”
“I’m so happy,” he added. “I hated to lose my wife but getting a new daughter … you can’t believe how happy that makes me.”
Cullen recalled that his wife and daughter met one another “before my Pam passed away.”
“My wife looked at me and said, ‘You have a new girlfriend now.’”