Calling on the Rooster Cartoonist’s take

Recently, while I was picking my own peaches in the produce aisle, I ran into Ima

Torked.

Ima, a life-long resident of Vacaville’s voting District No. 2, was forlorn feeling, that her ward was suffering from a systemic suffrage shortage. In case you missed it, our enlightened oligarchy on Merchant Street, prompted by civic mindfulness and a desire to avoid a lawsuit, contacted Jerry Meander to carve the city into six voting areas and thus, pamper the populi.

Somehow, in the recent election, most of these wards were able to vote for a favorite son from amongst their own, but not the second ward. “We need to seat someone for No. 2 on the council,” Ima bemoaned.

What to do? The current fix is to hold a special election this spring to allow the second ward to fill their void. Alas, the city will squander about $580,000 to throw this goat rope. Barring any meddling by the Russians, it still costs tons for printing, stamp licking, mailing, and hazardous duty pay for the poll workers.

Not surprisingly, the thrifty taxpayers in the other five wards are appalled at this monetary madness.

In an effort to defuse this dilemma, Hugh Briss, the deputy director of Amelioration, feels that the second ward could go unrepresented until the next general election. “It’s not like they’ll be trampled on,” he intoned. “The city has no immediate plans to approve a strip mine in their area,”

It may be a time for the Rooster to the Rescue — when the Reporter runs its annual “Bests,” it could include a new category: “Best date to take to a council meeting.”

— Bill Ferguson/

Vacaville