The Reporter (Vacaville)

Runner needs to leap over frequent texter

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DEAR AMY >> My wife is an avid runner and usually runs on the weekends with a group of regulars.

Recently a man entered the group, and he seems to be reaching out to her a lot. This started with questions about running, but seems to have morphed into other areas. He always initiates texts, and she responds politely by answering his questions.

She is completely open, shows me everything, and often brings up to him that she has plans with her husband and kids. He then glosses right over this informatio­n and basically seems to be pretending that we don't exist.

I am not at all concerned about my wife's behavior but I'm a guy, she's amazing, and I have a weird sense about this.

I'm not sure how to approach this weirdness. Do you have a suggestion?

— Hapless Husband

DEAR HAPLESS >> Talk to your wife about this, and ask her how she feels about this texting contact. Is it annoying or intrusive?

And then tell her, honestly, that it bothers you. Don't make a big deal about it, and don't insist that she needs to block him, but tell her: “I'm a guy, you're amazing, and I think he's into you. This concerns me because I'm a guy, you're amazing, and I'm definitely into you.”

DEAR AMY >> I am a 62-year-old man, needing advice regarding my daughter and 11-year-old granddaugh­ter, who live across the country.

Eighteen months ago, I flew out to visit.

My granddaugh­ter wanted a “yes” day where I would take her for a funfilled day.

We had a fantastic time. I tried to shower her with love and attention.

Feeling a reconnecti­on, with my daughter's blessing, I purchased her a cellphone so we could stay in touch.

After the trip, I tried to reach out, only to be ghosted.

I brought this up with my daughter, who cynically informed me that my granddaugh­ter is quite busy and perhaps we could arrange for a monthly Zoom meeting. But I really had visions of talking oneon-one with this child, as I felt a growing bond which I wanted to nurture.

My daughter obviously wanted to supervise her phone calls, which I thought was controllin­g. She mailed me the phone back with a nasty letter. This upset me greatly.

My relationsh­ip has always been strained due to my divorce 25 years ago, but it was a fantastic visit and we got along quite well, so I am at a loss, Amy.

— Distant Grandpa

DEAR DISTANT >> This visit went very well. But you live across the country. To your granddaugh­ter, you are a nice old man whom she doesn't know very well.

I don't know of many adolescent­s who would be able to forge a one-on-one relationsh­ip with a distant grandfathe­r over the phone. Kids generally prefer texting. Texting photos and funny memes back and forth from your phone to hers would have been a good way to establish a connection.

Your daughter's suggestion for a regular Zoom meeting was a great one.

I hope you'll keep trying to connect, and not take things so personally as you go.

 ?? ??

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