The Riverside Press-Enterprise
Tears at the end are worth it
DEAR HELOISE » Reflecting back in regards to putting down one’s beloved pets: I still regret not holding my first of two dogs when it was time for her to go. I didn’t think I could handle it. As she was taken from me, I burst out sobbing.
When it was time for my second dog two years later, I wanted to hold him. I said a prayer to get me through it. It turned out to be very peaceful knowing he no longer would suffer from all of his ailments.
So if any of you are hesitant, believe me, it can be a better decision to hold your pet, for both of you. You’ll have no regrets later, as difficult as it can be at the time.
— Marilyn, Huntington
Beach
DEAR MARILYN » One summer when I pulled into a garage to get an oil change, the men there had found a tiny black kitten, maybe three days old, that had been abandoned by his mom. The kitten had an abscess on his neck. They didn’t know what to do with him, so I took him home with me. It wasn’t the first time I had bottle fed a kitten.
After a visit to the vet, I nursed him back to health, got his shots and in time had him neutered. I named him Batman. He liked to visit the neighbors, but he’d only let me touch him. He’d curl up on my lap and softly purr as he fell asleep.
Thirteen years together forms a tight bond, but Batman developed cancer of the stomach and couldn’t keep food down. The vet recommended that I put him down before he died of starvation.
I had a few moments alone with him before the end, and I promised I’d hold him and stay with him until it was all over. I held him on my lap when he was only three days old, and I would hold him on my lap at the end so that the last thing he saw or smelled was the one person who had loved him even before he opened his eyes.
It felt as though someone tore my heart out, but I have never regretted staying with a pet as they leave this world. I would urge others to do the same. Our pets are there through the good and bad times. Let’s not desert them at the end.
DEAR HELOISE » I buy blank cards instead of ones that say “happy birthday” or “happy holiday.” I prefer to write my own message. Most preprinted cards are rather generic because the person who wrote the card’s verse doesn’t know the person I’m sending the card to. So I write my own words. I have people who have kept those cards for many years and one friend who framed one I sent when her son died. At least the receiver knows my thoughts are sincere and meant only for them.
— Gerald W., Montpelier,
Vermont
DEAR GERALD » I like your thoughtful idea, and I try to add a few words of my own to cards that I send out. It just makes it more personal.