Unexpected book

A wise person once said sometimes we choose a book to read and sometimes the book chooses us. Turns out that sometimes you choose a book to write and sometimes the book kicks the door down and insists on being written. That is the case for me right now with a book I never intended to write.

Every journalist secretly harbors dreams of writing the great American novel and seeing their face on a dust jacket as they peer through the window of a popular bookstore. When people would ask me if I planned to write a book I’d always give the same answer, “When I have time.” That was code for, “When I retire.” Then I lost Samuel.

In late August of 2016 my wife and I took a new puppy home named Samuel. A perfect little German shepherd who did everything right and quickly crept deep inside our hearts. If it was possible to love a new dog more I wasn’t aware of it. Then the morning of January 24th he closed his eyes for a nap and never woke up. They said we may never know why God took him, most likely an undetected heart condition.

The pain was terrible, as it is when you say goodbye to any pet, but this was different. I couldn’t move passed it which didn’t make sense because I’d buried pets before, ones I’d known much longer than Samuel. So why was this different? I realized it was the sheer unfairness of it all. He was just a baby and babies aren’t supposed to die. I couldn’t wrap my mind around it.

A month after his death I was thinking about that pain and the inability to control it and I realized this must be exactly how a young child feels when they lose a pet of any sort; cat, dog, hamster. No matter how old the pet was they can’t understand why it is gone and the wound is deep and festering.

Later that same night, for reasons I can’t explain, I sat at the computer and started writing a children’s book. At first it was from my perspective but with each rewrite the story changed and new characters presented themselves. Soon I was entirely gone from the story but new people took my place. The plot is of a young boy losing his dog and the reasons why. It also speaks to God’s purpose and that which we can’t always see or understand.

I knew this story I’d just written would help children deal with their grief but what to do with it? I thought of sending it off to some big publishing houses but I can only imagine it sitting in someone’s “never mind” folder and nothing coming from it. A friend mentioned the Troy Bookmakers and self-publishing, a prospect that never interested me before. I contacted them on a whim and was happy to learn an old friend runs the business. Maybe this was the place for me.

I took a meeting and with a little money this little dream could become reality but who would draw the pictures? Just then a message appeared in my inbox at work from a perfect stranger a thousand miles away who painting a picture of my sweet Samuel. She said she started painting it the night he died. It was beautiful and perfect for the cover of a book. The artist wanted an address to send it to me and I told her about my book. She asked to see what I wrote, I sent it and now I have an illustrator.

It was starting to feel like someone beyond me was moving the pieces on this chess board to make this all happen. So why am I telling you? Oh, I don’t know, it just seemed like too big a secret to keep to myself. If all goes as planned the book will be out this fall. The publisher asked me if there was a particular date I wanted to shoot for and I said, “How about October 1st.”

Just today I was sifting through old photos of Samuel and found the one the artist used to paint that portrait of him. It was taken the one and only time my wife took Samuel for a walk near our home. He was so happy that day and you can see it in his face. I looked at the time stamp on the picture and can you guess when it was taken? Yep, October 1st. Like I said I think someone bigger than me is steering this.

I don’t know if I’ll sell 500 books or 5,000 but I’m planning to price is low and give a dollar from each one sold to a local animal shelter. I may well lose money on the venture but that’s OK. As trite as it sounds if this book helps one child through a tough time it will be more than worth it. And if the money is raises helps one animal in a cage find a home that would be perfection. Maybe the book I never meant to write will be the best thing I’ve ever written.