Sweethearts & heroes
Teachers aim to spread message of hope in response to bullying
Sweethearts & Heroes delivered a message of hope and the power of forgiveness to a room filled with parents at Saratoga Hospital Wednesday night. Tom Murphy created the program alongside Glens Falls teacher Jason Spector years ago, speaking to more than 70 schools and 100,000 students this year alone. Spector and Murphy, inspired by their own experiences, developed an action-based “the stop, drop and roll” of bullying. Murphy wondered why bullying wasn’t addressed as much as what to do in a fire to children growing up. About 135 people ages 10 through 19 die every year in the United States by fire but half a million to 1 million attempt suicide. The message isn’t anti-bullying, but a challenge for the audience to engage in more assertive behaviors of being a sweetheart and hero to everyone in your life.
Carol Pollett spoke to the crowd about her son, Billy Wardell, who died in an all-terrain vehicle accident March 2016 at age 12. Pollett shared a video of how many children her son helped. Classmates posted stories of Billy’s kindness on Instagram.
“Billy was a sweetheart and a hero. I knew he was special. He had such a tender, understanding for kids. I just had no idea to the extent,” said Pollett. “I heard more stories from friends, teachers, parents. Billy would stand up for them. Billy was their brother’s favorite. He was their for them. I had one teacher that said if somebody was getting picked on Billy could change the tone of the whole room just to divert attention from the child that was getting picked on.”
Pollett said she knew she needed to do something after hearing all of the stories about her son.
Pollett e-mailed her story to Sweethearts & Heroes not knowing what to expect. Pollett then met with Spector about sharing her son’s story.
“It didn’t take very long to realize I wasn’t sitting in an office
with a business man trying to get my business, trying to promote his,” said Pollett. “I was sitting with a dad of two boys, around Billy’s age, who knew what he needed to do. He had that compassionate empathy.”
Six weeks later Sweethearts & Heroes captivated an audience of over 1,500 Maple Avenue Middle School children with knowledge, strength and most of all the courage to become somebody’s sweetheart and hero.
“I hadn’t seen their presentation prior to that,” said Pollett. “I was speechless.”
Pollett then began speaking with the organization about connection and communication. She talked about the importance of not just recognizing but acknowledge when kids, or anyone, do a great deed.
Pollett provided a powerful message to the group of parents.
“We need to let them know we are seeing what they’re doing,” said Pollett. “We need to talk to them. And it doesn’t end at those kids. Our friends, our family, co-workers. When’s the last time any of you told them how you felt that you were proud of them, that you appreciate them you look up to them.”
Murphy encouraged the audience to check their perspective at the door. Spector himself changed his perspective after a couple interactions with students over the years.
Spector told a story about a student athlete named Evan he taught and coached, who ended his own life.
“We were all guilt-ridden. That’s what suicide does to people. You want to know why. And there is no answer. You try to come up with your own educated guess or assessment,” said Spector. “What I came up with is the lack of sweethearts & heroes that makes people hopeless. Then I thought what could I have done better. I’ll tell you this my wrestlers responded by shaking hands and hugging after every wrestling practice. The responses from kids after the fact were powerful.” Spector then wondered how he could create sweethearts & heroes in the world.
“How do I ensure that I’m giving her, giving him everything I can to let them know there’s hope and take action that other people aren’t willing to take,” said Spector. “That became my mission, my challenge and I got fascinated with that.”
Devin, another student of Spector’s, then changed Spector’s perspective again. Devin joined the wrestling team as a sophomore and he wasn’t very good. During a JV match Devin lost even though he should have won, but he smiled as the winner was announced.
Spector was angry at Devin and asked why he was smiling even though he lost. Devin responded, exhaustively, that’s the first time he ever lasted all six minutes.
“As I had been maturing as a teacher, Devin was teaching me more lessons,” said Spector. “The lesson of survival. Some kids just want to survive. I was trying to make a young man sprint who had just started the first leg of a marathon.”
Devin ended up winning 31 matches and losing three his senior year. He graduated at the top of his class at Navy. He just got married.
“It’s an amazing ending to a marathon that some young people need to run,” said Spector. “And I was guilty of thinking ‘Let’s get their faster.’”
Spector explained the importance of empathic fitness.
“We are a move-it-or-lostit animal and if we don’t use our muscles, if we don’t exercise our bodies, stay active. We lose our health,” said Spector. “And I think the same can be said for our empathic fitness.”
Rick Yarosh, retired sergeant with the U.S. Army, told his story about injuring himself in Iraq with burns over most of his body. He provided a message about overcoming adversity and turning a negative situation into a positive one. He also encouraged the audience that each of them possess hope.
“You may not recognize it yet,” said Yarosh. “But you possess the hope that many seek.”