Move beyond the familiar, part II
In the first part of this article, we why it is so difficult to change our habits. The very familiar environment we live in brings familiar cues, that then bring familiar thoughts and that brings familiar feelings. These feelings are like magnets, now pulling more familiar thoughts supporting those familiar feelings.
Please keep in mind: if these feelings are awesome, joy-filled emotions, then no problem. However, if we are trying to change a negative, unhealthy pattern, you see where the “yucky” feeling simply keeps pulling in more yukky thought, that then generate more yucky feelings. It’s a vicious loop, and many feel trapped in that loop. So how do you break free?
Resolve: Seek Growth over Comfort and Familiarity
As we get accustomed to any habit pattern, that familiar habit has a certain comfort level. It’s like riding on a well-worn highway home, bored out of your mind, when there are a dozen options available which are more adventuresome, but unfamiliar and perhaps a bit uncomfortable.
The first step in this process is to become resolved about the following intention: “I seek growth and change over my familiar habits and tendencies.” This intention is like the fuel for your rocket. You may not yet know where it’s going, but there is certainty that you will have the fuel (energy) to get there.
In seeking this growth, understand that we must get your brain going in a new direction. Since it isn’t always clear exactly what that direction is or exactly how you will get there, start by simply breaking old patterns. Be like George in that infamous Seinfeld episode, where he realizes that his life is continually cycle of disappointments and failures. So, what does he do? He resolves, that when he is facing any decision, he will do exactly the opposite of what the old George would do. True to form, he does this and his life turns around. It’s worth a YouTube view of the classic “Opposite” episode!
On a practical level, the opposite George is simply a pointer to move toward the unfamiliar as a first step to change. While it may not seem like much, just start small to change your brain patterns. Stand on one foot and brush your teeth with your opposite hand. Drive a different route to and from home. Awaken to inspiring music you choose, rather than an alarm. Walk tonight, rather than sit in front of the TV. Smile at everyone today, regardless. Shut off your phone for hours at a time. Dance in your living room. Sing songs from your childhood.
Notice that these are simple. And none of them will today instantly lead to change. However, when you start adding these up after a few days, your brain will start to break out of those habitual patterns and you will be ready for change and growth.
Practice Daily: Envision Your Life Beyond Your Current Circumstances
By now, you might realize that your current circumstances are often like a trap, if you are wanting for more. The habitual cues in your world, lead to the habitual thoughts and those habitual feelings mentioned above.
So, what’s the secret juice to growth and change? The magic potion to getting what you want, when you feel stuck in your circumstances?
The answer is this: We must be able to convince our brains that we have experienced those future circumstances (in advance of reality), and have beliefs and thoughts consistent with those circumstances. We must play a bit of trickery on our brains, by envisioning that future so clearly, so passionately, so convincingly…that we know it to be true. It’s as if that reality is there waiting for us, and we are simply passing time to get there.
For any visionary, this is there experience of life. They envisioned a dream, believed it to be absolutely real, and then went about setting their life to create that vision. Most did so regardless of what others said.
On a practical level, this means that we simply close our eyes, take some deep breaths and go inside (and away from our current circumstances). We then imagine, as clearly as we can, our vision of what we seek. If it’s happiness, we imagine ourselves happy and smiling. If’s it a new relationship, we imagine ourselves sharing life with someone. If we want to change our body shape or size, we envision ourselves actively experiencing life in that healthy body. This is first part of convincing our brains that this is real.
Next, we move beyond the cognitive to the emotional. This is where you bring your energy, your emotional intensity into that vision of the future. In other words, you not only imagine that future reality, you step into it now, and feel what it feels like to be in that reality. You allow those feelings to inform your body, that this is real.
When you bring these pieces together, it allows you to adopt a sense of certainty about that future, and starts to align your beliefs with that reality. For most of us wanting change or growth, we must do this over and over. We do it until we know that it’s real for us. Then, our beliefs and our thoughts are truly connected to our future circumstances, not the present, and becomes the catalyst for automatic change.
Businesses have been built this way. Athletes have honed their skill this way. Alcoholics have transformed their lives this way. Depressed, down-trodden addicts have built happy, healthy lives this way. Why not give it a try, whether for a small change or a significant life transformation.