A good time to express gratitude

Imagine my delight when I checked the definition of ‘thanksgiving’ and learned that more than just a holiday, it means the ‘expression of gratitude.’ This may seem unremarkable at first glance, but I invite you to dig into this a bit with me.

In the last 15 years, a remarkable body of research demonstrates that all things profoundly good flow from gratitude. While the elusive experience of happiness is hard to capture directly, it seems that gratitude is one of the most direct and potent paths for leading a happy life. The more we seek to appreciate everything we possibly can, the more we find happiness emerges. Why so?

When we appreciate our life and the moment that is in front of us, the emotion of gratitude arises naturally. When that happens, we are inoculated from complaints and negativity; we simply can’t have two emotional states at once. It’s a beautiful thing.

And if we allow (very important) our hearts to open to gratitude, the emotion flows more deeply, and we feel it in profound ways. Some people are accustomed to opening their hearts, while others find this difficult because we are trained to think such warmth or softness equal weakness rather than strength.

Now the research is clear: the more we move into gratitude, the more happiness and optimism emerges in our lives. And who doesn’t want more happiness?

Well, some cynics suggest they are satisfied being curmudgeons and don’t want to be ‘naïve.’ They even suggest that such happiness is for the ill-informed and argue for holding onto those critical, negative and judgmental thoughts that bring them misery. That’s okay. Those folks will not read this article.

We have become fixated on the quick fix. “Just give me a pill please, so I can go on with my lousy thinking and still feel okay.” We want the cheat, so we don’t have to do the work. And I get that because the work is not necessarily easy.

If you seek to find a path where the idea “I am responsible for my happiness and my misery” appeals to you, then consider adopting a daily resolve to find gratitude. This is not a casual idea, nor is it about a better speech on Thanksgiving to the family. This is about an absolute, unequivocal resolve to seek expanded ways to appreciate your life, your family, your home, your daily work, your body ... and the list could go on and on. Seek to appreciate rather than judge or criticize or complain (about yourself and others).

Absurd perhaps, but still ... I bet not. You have taken that breath for granted almost every day of your life. And yet, that breath has always been there. It has brought to you everything you have experienced, and brings life to everyone you love. Just try five minutes without it, and see how much your sense of gratitude changes.

I find that is true for almost everything. Lose a limb, and you would do anything to get it back. Lose a cherished friend, and you are distraught. Lose your sight, then get it back ... oh how grateful. Have knee that won’t work, and then get it fixed ... you’re forever thankful. Lose that favorite watch from your grandmother, and then find it ... again ... how grateful.

So, consider this: You could start practicing gratitude for each and every part of life. Everything we have could be considered a gift, if we open our perceptions and our hearts to give thanks.

Think of making a commitment to seek gratitude daily in multiple ways everywhere you turn as daily medicine for your well being. Experiment with being a slightly different person, who seeks to appreciate more and more of life. And don’t forget to write this stuff down. Every day, take notes on what you are grateful for and keep extending the joy of gratitude.

Recall our beginning, and the real definition of gratitude. It requires the EXPRESSION of gratitude. Why is this so important? Obviously, part of this is that the rubber meets the road when we express our gratitude to someone. It becomes very real and we often make a moment for not just one ... but two or more shares in that gratitude.

There is a second reason this is important as well. When we express gratitude to someone (or a group of people), we make eye contact and we connect. We are pulled into the moment and our hearts seem compelled to open to more sincere and authentic emotions. The results are more powerful, and more memorable. Don’t resist this. It is good.

In this week of Thanksgiving, consider launching this commitment, and see just how much gratitude you can give away. It may surprise and delight you.