Fearless predictions for 2018

So it’s almost the New Year and it’s time for my fearless predictions. Here’s how it works: some of these will be things I really don’t want to see happen so I predict them to put the triple whammy on them. Some of them I do want to see happen so I predict them to make them happen, and some of them I really think will happen. It’s your responsibility to figure out which is which. So here goes: • Governor Andrew Cuomo will make it official that he is indeed running for president. He will announce his incredible liberal credentials and attack Donald Trump with everything he’s got.

• Governor Andrew Cuomo will run for a third term in 2018 and, to a lot of people’s surprise, he will win — but only by a whisker.

• Cuomo will be opposed by mild-mannered Harry Wilson who will kick $15 million dollars into his own campaign. That amount will pale compared to the $50 million that Cuomo will have raised from his Hollywood crowd and New York millionaires who write large checks, perhaps because some of them want something back. He will continue to get almost no money from the little people.

• Former Syracuse Mayor Stephanie Miner will decide not to run against Cuomo, despite the urging of a huge number of people. The gutsy lady took on Cuomo early in the game and people really like her, which cannot necessarily be said about Andrew. Her problem is that New Yorkers know nothing about state government, and many Big Apple residents worship the Cuomo name because of Papa Cuomo.

• The number of people signing a petition to have Mario Cuomo’s name taken off the Tappan Zee Bridge will hit a million. This is not because they don’t like Mario, who I loved, but because they resent the younger Cuomo’s chutzpah at naming the bridge after his own father. Cuomo will continue to rail against those who sign, calling them “Partisan Republicans.” This will be followed by another petition signed by millions demanding that no politician’s names be attached to bridges and tunnels. Of particular interest will be those named after Edward Koch and Hugh Carey. One newspaper columnist will write, “What is this, the Bum of the Month Club?”

• The New York State Senate will go solidly Democratic. Red-faced Andrew Cuomo will be caught on tape saying to Republican leader John Flanagan, “Sorry, John, I did the best I could to keep you guys in power. Now I’m going to have to deal with those real Democrats.”

• Four members of the make-believe Independent Democratic Conference who sell out to the Republicans will be defeated in primaries. Jeff Klein of the Bronx will have the electoral scare of his life. There will be a near fist fight on the floor of the Senate between Klein and Michael Gianaris of Queens. Gianaris will be heard to say to his arch enemy, the leader of the makebelieve Democrats, “Come on, Jeff, take the first shot.”

• The trials of Cuomo’s former best friends will make headlines. Despite compelling evidence, a few will get off the hook. Others will get long prison sentences. Their appeals will lead to higher court decisions calling for retrials. The Supreme Court’s McDonnell and Skilling decisions will give hope to those convicted that they won’t see jail time, but some will.

• As part of a deal with the prosecutors, two of the defendants will say that Governor Andrew Cuomo knew what they were doing in their bribery schemes especially when it came to raising money for the various Cuomo campaigns.

• Rich Azzopardi of the governor’s press office will be promoted to chief attack dog for defending Cuomo and attacking his enemies. Azzopardi will be heard to say, “Professor Chartock taught me everything I know.”

• You, dear readers, will have a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year!