Wimpy parenting makes for wimpy kids
Many parents today seem to have graduate degrees in wimpy parenting. What are the characteristics of the wimpy parent?
• Can’t seem to set limits for children
• Protect them from the consequences of poor choices
• Respond to almost every request or demand from child
• Try to fix every problem their child encounters
• Constant work harder at their child’s life…than the child does
• Cringe at the thought of their son or daughter being upset at them
• Incessantly negotiate to keep child happy
• Becomes personal chauffeur on demand
• Let’s child decide what good for them (i.e., food, video games, phone time, apps, etc.)
• Changes plans in an instant when child requests something
• Can hardly stand the thought of just saying ‘no’ to their child
So, What’s the Big Deal? I Go Easy on My Kids
It’s not a big deal. If you have space for your children in your home when they are 35, and have a trust fund set up for them to live on. In other words, they should be just fine, if you are prepared to care for them forever. They will not be happy or satisfied, but they should be okay.
Why so bleak a future for these children of the Wimpy Parents?
Everything about wimpy parentings puts children on the wrong path to excel or find happiness in life. It creates a set of expectations that is not in line with reality. The wimpy parent is teaching their child that they can get everything that they want, with virtually no effort. In what world is this true?
These children grow up expecting everything while giving very little. This ‘entitled’ attitude not only fails in relationships, it fails in the work place. What happens is that these young adults end up ‘entitled’ to a room in the basement, and ‘entitled’ to dad’s paycheck.
They also grow up expecting few limits on their behaviors or actions. Having felt few consequences for their choices, they believe they can get by with just about anything. In fact, often they do not believe that consequences apply to them!
Since life has been lived with the child at the continual epicenter of all decisions, the child grows to an adult who believes that they are the epicenter. This narcissistic view of life leaves one’s self consumed, and devoid of true concern for others. The notion of helping others, volunteering time or contributing to others well-being is not possible.
Please Stop: Kids Need Limits, Consequences and Challenge
It’s no secret that the success requires hard work, sustained effort and a toughness to handle adversity, failure and setbacks. This is true if there is success in business, success in marriage, success in friendships and even success in finding satisfaction and happiness.
It’s not hard to see how wimpy parenting fails to teach these essential lessons. Without experiencing the consequences that come with poor choices, kids grow up to expect that consequences don’t apply to them. Let’s think about that: in what domain of life can that possible work? Nowhere.
If kids are never challenged to figure it out on their own, because mom or dad does that for them, how do they learn persistence and toughness when things get tough? They don’t.
Our children require the lessons that prepare them for the real world. It’s that simple.
If we fail to teach them those lessons, then it’s our bad. We should open our eyes sooner, and see how the world works. None of us really want to have wimpy, lazy, self-centered children, especially when they are living in the basement.